Red Carpet Manners at the Primetime Emmy’s 2012 - A Bit of Humor & A Hassle-Free Host

This year my Primetime Emmy experience began up-close and personal the night before at the annual “Evening Before” party to benefit the Motion Picture Television Fund.  Literally everyone from television was in attendance and I have to say looking quite fabulous in their casual chic attire.  A veritable who’s who of TV’s biggest celebrities mingled while noshing on food and sipping libations from Wolfgang Puck’s menu of selections.  Smiles, hugs, handshakes and good humor were on tap with cast members ranging from Glee and Girls to Mad Men and Modern Family chatting and wishing one another the best of luck.  Popular performance artists, Gil and Jill Bumby a/k/a the Bumbys, were on hand to give “fair and honest appraisals” of one’s appearance as celebs and regular folk lined up inside the Essie nail polish tent to obtain their readings.  (I have to admit I got sucked into this, but was happy to receive a 9.4 out of 10 on my style and will say that their written assessment was spot on!). 

What struck me the most was how much better everyone looked in person and how much smaller everyone is in real life!!  The camera really does add pounds and inches!  I was also surprised at how late everyone partied knowing they’d have to get up early, look rested, and do it all again the next day.

On Emmy night, the heat turned up literally and figuratively.  Stylists dressed their stars in this season’s hottest colors while they struggled not to sweat in the blistering heat.  On the red carpet, the ladies hit home runs outfitted in shades of grey, burgundy, blue and yellow.  My heart went out to the number of men who must have been sweating bullets in their Brooks Brothers Black Fleece label suits. 

Although it was Jane Lynch who hosted the previous year, the pressure was on for Jimmy Kimmel to perform and to perhaps try to top the other Jimmy (Fallon) who seemed to have so much fun hosting in 2010.  All in all, I think he did a pretty decent job delivering a hassle-free and humorous show.  Here is our red carpet manners recap on some of the night’s most noticeable hits and misses.

Style on Steroids – Okay, I love fashion as much as the next gal, but the gratuitous plugs for the designers are beginning to take the emphasis away from the celebrities actually wearing them!  Having to sit through the mispronunciations of the names and the laundry list of mentions from shoes, to jewelry to handbags has made the whole red carpet experience seem a bit vacuous.  E! has jumped on the bandwagon in a big way displaying their ginormous 360 Glam Cam, their Stiletto Cam, and now the debut of their Mani Cam (giving props to all the fashionable nails).  Yes, we know everyone is dying to see a close up shot of Kat Dennings’ cleavage and Sophia Vergara’s backside in circular motion, but I think I’m officially over it.  To me, it was much more interesting to see one of entertainment’s married royal couples, Leslie Mann and Judd Apatow, take to the cam for a traditional dip.  To me, that is true Hollywood glamour.

Combustible Busts – While we’re on the topic of bosoms. We simply cannot ignore the voluptuous Two Broke Girls Kat Dennings and Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks who both chose to emphasize their  G-d given gifts with figure hugging dresses that were conversation topics all to themselves.  Kat Dennings openly admitted to E! that she decided to flaunt them because “no matter what I do, they are there!”  She also confessed that her posture may be less than perfect as she favors the hunched over position which is better for keeping “the girls” inside the dress where they belong!   

A Hassle Free, Humorous Host – After sitting through two hours of red carpet arrivals, we caught a first glimpse of our host, Jimmy Kimmel.  The opening sequence for the Emmy’s involved him crying in a bathroom stall over a botched Botox session in an absolutely hysterical, if not irreverent, look at the double-standard females face to appear eternally young in the eyes of the media.  The pre-taped skit included TV’s funniest female nominees taking swings at Kimmel to help punch his features back into their original position.  Once he had everything back in the right place, a very fit and dapper looking Kimmel took the stage.  Although he seemed a tad nervous at first, rushing his lines without pausing for reaction, he quickly settled in for some truly funny and poignant jokes.  My favorites were the ones where he poked fun at the actors themselves speaking candidly about their most difficult roles when they have to play “an actor who is happy for the success of another actor.” When he addressed the audience directly assuring them that the show would end on time so they could go home and put on their “fat pants” was perfection!  There were no major offenses or risky behaviors a la Ricky Gervais to mention, only a prank that involved Tracy Morgan pretending to pass out on stage which fell short. Another attempt where his parents were escorted out of the audience for lying to him was more well-received.

Acceptance Speech Gone Awry – Our apologies in advance, Julie Bowen, but we have to make mention of your acceptance speech which had one too many mentions of “pesky nipple covers” for our liking. Picking up her consecutive second win for Outstanding Supporting Actress in the hit comedy, Modern Family, the striking vision in yellow seemed to struggle to be witty and went seriously south in her speech detailing what life on a TV set is really like underneath the clothing and makeup. 

Staples, Surprises & Spouses – Most everyone was expecting to see the list of staple winners and losers on Emmy night, but there were still a few surprises including the multiple wins for under-the-radar favorite, Louis C.K. and statues going to Jon Cryer for the first time as Outstanding Lead Actor and Julia Louis-Dreyfus who won for Lead Actress in Veep. Out of their 17 noms, not one award went to Mad Men.  Instead, the many awards went to new darling, Homeland which at last put Showtime on the map in the drama category beating out longtime competitor HBO.  On a separate note, one of the things we noticed in many of the speeches on Emmy night, was the showering of accolades to the countless spouses and partners of all the winners who so graciously remembered to thank their significant others for their unwavering support and love.  How sweet! 

Manners Monday – Back 2 School Manners 4 Parents

On the final night of summer, parents countrywide prepared for the annual ritual of going back to school.  They busily organized backpacks with new supplies, painstakingly prepared lunch boxes with the latest healthy (or not so healthy) fare, selectively laid out outfits or uniforms to help their kids look presentable, and perhaps snuck in a handwritten note in their notebooks wishing their kids a great first day! 

Mission accomplished, they tucked their children into bed and let out one last remark reiterating their excitement about new teachers and inspired curriculum's, meeting new friends and maintaining old relationships. They reminded them to remember the six pillars of character and be mindful of the golden rule.  With the parenting checklist for back-to-school preparation completed, they breathed a collective sigh of relief. 

Not so fast parents!  There is still work to be done.  It is virtually impossible to steer your  kids in the right direction - trust me, they will never listen - without taking a good close look at yourselves and your own back-to-school behavior.  As you slowly integrate into schedules and school lunches this week, take a moment to review our list of dos and don’ts.  Remember, your children emulate you and will do as you do and not as you say. Better to set them on the right course by setting a good example. You certainly don’t want anyone pointing a finger at them and saying the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. 

Do

• Greet fellow parents each day with a smile.
• Integrate new parents by including them in school activities and special events.
• Use the magic words unconditionally and often with teachers, administration and staff.
• Introduce yourself to your child’s teacher and establish a relationship.
• Make your best effort to donate monies for class funds, field trips & other activities in a timely manner.
• Offer to help parents and children who are in need.
• Keep negative comments about the school or other parents or their children to yourself.
• Communicate with your child and let them solve their own problems with their peers if possible.
• Keep tabs on your own child and make sure they are not bullying others.
• Regulate your child with a good night’s sleep and a nutritious breakfast each morning.
• Use designated crosswalks when crossing the street near school perimeters.

Don’t

• Judge parents by how much or how little they are able to volunteer at school.
• Attempt to gain favor with your child’s teacher by showering them with accolades or gifts.
• Send mass emails to your child’s class list unless it’s regarding school work or administration.
• Hit “reply all” unless the person who initiated the email has expressly requested it.
• Gossip or spread harmful rumors about the school, the parents, or the children.
• Jump to conclusions about anything school-related. Give others the benefit of the doubt, gather your facts and then respond accordingly.
• Jay-Walk unsafely with your children in tow.
• Honk, double-park or block other drivers. We are all just trying to find a space and get our children to school. Have some patience and take a breath!

I'm sure there are many parents out there who wish other parents had better manners at school. What are some of your biggest gripes?  Which do's and don'ts would you add to this list?  Please share with us, we'd love to hear from you!!

For more info, read our blogs on Back 2 School Manners for Kids http://90210manners.blogspot.com/2011/08/back-2-school-manners.html and college-aged students http://90210manners.blogspot.com/2011/08/back-2-school-manners-college-years.html.

Manners Monday – When Tragedy Strikes – How to Share with Your Children?

Last Friday’s movie theater massacre in Aurora, Colorado was a tragic reminder for parents that no matter how hard we try to protect our children, it is virtually impossible to shield them from all danger. We live in an uncertain world where the behavior of others is often unpredictable.  The only thing we truly have control over is our own actions and reactions. 

So how do those of us who are watching the television and reading the media headlines respond when our children catch us emotionally enraptured by the latest story developments?  How should we explain what happened? What is appropriate for our children’s ears? What is better left unsaid?  And, what can they learn for the future?

However we decide to explain the tragedy to our children, one thing must remain clear and that is that we deliver our message in a responsible manner with the utmost sensitivity and respect for the families who are experiencing the loss firsthand.

Ø  Let your tone convey the gravity of the situation.  Children know very well by their parent’s tone of voice whether a particular subject is to be taken seriously.  When tragedy strikes, parents should be calm and reassuring while they explain the situation in practical terms with only pertinent facts included. 

Ø  Keep it age appropriate and in perspective.  Youngest children should receive this information on a need-to-know basis only and using very simple words. Older children may be privy to more detail, but with limitations, as we still don’t want to scare them unnecessarily. Be mindful of the media and make sure children do not have unlimited access.

Ø  Teach your children to empathize.  A tragedy of this magnitude offers our children the ability to learn how to sympathize with another person’s situation, and to offer understanding and compassion. Children need to exercise their empathy muscle so that when a situation arises they will know how to genuinely show their support.

Ø  Use the tragedy to strengthen survival skills.  There is always a lesson to be learned from tragedy, and as painful as it is to discuss, children must gain wisdom from the experience.  In this particular situation, it is a lesson to teach our children to always be conscious of their surroundings, to heighten their awareness of others, and to notice and identify suspicious behavior.  These skills may just wind up saving their lives someday. 

    If you happened to miss the live courtroom newsfeed this morning as the 24 year old defendant, James Holmes, received his first words from the judge, here is the clip  http://tinyurl.com/d97438l. It is strikingly evident from this footage that the young man is deeply troubled. 

"Don't Be a Bum at the Beach" - 4th of July Etiquette for the Sand & Sea

A couple of weeks ago, my girlfriend and I made a last minute plan to venture out to Paradise Cove in Malibu for a little R&R.  At the beach for the first time in about ten years without kids in tow, we simply couldn’t wait to break into our magazines and soak up the summer sun.  There were no nagging voices begging us to make a sandcastle or desperate attempts to drag our bodies into the cold ocean to jump the waves, merely the pure bliss of alone time doing whatever we pleased. Just as we were finally settling in to our groove, a pack of eight adults decided to plop down right beside us as if we were completely invisible.  As sand flung onto our towels, they proceeded to unpack heaps of beach paraphernalia within inches of our designated space.  Rather than scold them because they were clearly clueless, we decided to preserve our zen-like mode by packing up our things and moving further down the beach.   

The 4^th of July marks the height of the beach going season.  After much preparation to clear our schedules and make ourselves beach worthy with requisite tans and new suits to model, the last thing we need is to be bothered by annoying adults blasting their bad music, pesky children (or adults for that matter) kicking sand onto our towels or thrill-seeking seagulls swooping down on our homemade fried chicken and expensive imported cheese.  To learn how not to be offensive to others and to best enjoy the beach experience at holidays and all year long, here is our top list of proper beach etiquette tips. 

Dress Appropriately for the Occasion. The last time I checked, topless and nude sunbathing is frowned upon here in America, and in some cases is considered against the law. Unless you’re on a private yacht in the south of France or vacationing in Brazil, kindly keep your bathing suit PG-rated. Private parts should be sufficiently covered. The beach is for families and they are especially in tow on a big summer holiday.

Come Ready with Your Own Supplies. Everyone has their “must have” list of necessities for the beach. Most importantly, the list is to help you be prepared so that you do not have to constantly bother others with your requests for items you forgot at home. The bare minimum: sunscreen, hat, bottled water and towel. Kicking it up a notch: beach chair, umbrella, tunes, books or magazines (old school style), games, a cooler fully stocked with an incredible feast. Recommended for parents: full day supply of diapers and wipes, a Pack N’ Play or tent for shade, sand toys (BTW, don’t forget to write your name on them so you leave the beach with the same toys you came with), ample sunscreen, snacks and beverages.

The Early Bird Gets the Worm. If you are one of those people who perpetually arrives fashionably late, don’t expect to have first dibs on prime real estate at the beach. There is plenty of space and no one is entitled to a reserved spot, unless of course, you belong to a private beach club and the attendant has a reserved number of chairs and umbrellas set aside for members. To ensure you do not encroach on another person’s space, ideally there should be about 15 feet between distance between you and your neighbor. When selecting your spot, don’t forget to take into consideration high tide. Look for a high water mark, consult a tide chart or ask a lifeguard before settling down for the day.

Setting up Shop. If possible, organize your items so that you only have to take one trip on the sand to your spot on the beach. Walking back and forth is exhausting and will tucker you out before your day even begins. Before laying your towels down and inserting your umbrella, check to see which way the wind is blowing so that you don’t blow sand into your neighbor’s direction or block their view. Make every effort to consolidate your items into a small area that will not take valuable beach front away from others.

Keep it Down & Watch Your Language. We are well aware that the beach is outside, but that does not give you cart blanche to blast your latest iTunes mix on your giant speakers or shout profanities to your buddies when we are within ear shot trying to enjoy a family day with our kids. On the flip side, parents need to monitor their children and make sure little Mikey and Susie aren’t running amok hurling sand toys and fighting over the last Cheeto while adults are trying to enjoy a little peace and quiet or read the latest best-seller. Being outside entitles everyone to use their outside voice and have fun, just be mindful of how loud and crazy you get and keep it all in check.

Fun in the Sun. Game playing is great, but keep it away from others. First of all, it is obnoxious to play ball over others heads while they are trying to relax and secondly, it can be dangerous, especially if there are little ones around. This extends to water playing as well. Look out for others in the water before you engage in spirited splashing, dunking and other horseplay. Maintain control of boogie boards and other water toys so that everyone has a safe day in the sun. A special note to parents: keep an eye on your children. Organize plenty of activities like building sand castles, playing Frisbee or searching for the most unusual sea shell to keep them busy so that they do not wander off or, more importantly, wander into the water without your supervision.

Clean Up After Yourself. If only there was a “Smoky the Bear” or that Indian fellow who shed a single tear at the sight of litter being dropped at his feet to protect our beautiful beaches. Where’s the mascot to remind us to keep our beaches clean? I remember swimming once at a beach just north of Santa Monica and seeing plastic bags, soda cans and straw wrappers in the ocean. It was disgusting! Please take a garbage bag or paper bag with you to the beach and have the decency to collect all of your trash (that includes food wrappers, diapers, newspapers and whatever else you bring) and then deposit it into one of the large trash receptacles located everywhere.

Don't Bring the Beach Home with You. Carefully shake all items and sufficiently clean off anything with sticky sand before leaving the beach. Watch your neighbors to make sure you are not blowing sand dust in their wind. There is nothing worse than dust particles of sand found in the car, on the floor or in your bags when you return home. Shake off towels, clean dirty feet, wash out bathing suits and dump all bags before settling into your car or entering the house.

Give it One Last Look. Before making your final exit, patrol the area one all around your beach party scene one last time for any lost items, leftover food or litter.

Did I forget anything? Let me know what your beach rituals include? What items do you take? Have any tips for rude patrons? Share with us. We'd love to hear from you!

Sleep Away Camp – 5 Personal Traits for Kids to Gain and Get Rid Of

This week, I joined the legion of parents, who kissed their kids goodbye and sent them off to sleep away camp.  Like so many others, I was filled with mixed emotions: excitement over the freedom of having a whole eight days to myself before my youngest returned home; and sadness that my girls were gone and experiencing something fun without me.

I remember my first time at sleep away camp like it was yesterday.  I was shipped off to Camp Akiba in the Pocono Mountains for an entire summer.  When you lived back east, this was the norm and no one batted an eye.  I have fond memories of my experience and am grateful for participating in this rite of passage that is so entrenched in our American culture. 

Today, camp is different.  Campers are more sophisticated and the challenges for counselors are greater than just monitoring the canteens and candy trunks.  Nowadays, they are more concerned with stripping campers of their techno mentality and getting back to basics. 

While my girls are away at camp, I obviously want them to have fun, but I also secretly have a personal agenda of what I’d like them to gain, and get rid of, during their experience. 

1.  Gain: Independence. At camp, kids must stick to a schedule.  They are obligated to organize their belongings, keep their bunk neat, write letters, participate in activities and basically follow all of the designated camp rules or suffer the consequences. Get Rid Of: Laziness. In an age of concierge parenting, it is very easy for kids to slip into the role of dependent where mom and dad do everything and kids expect us to wait on them hand-and-foot. This attitude is simply unacceptable at camp.

2.   Gain: Possibility.  Camp is an opportunity for children to discover something about themselves that perhaps previously they thought was not possible.  Get Rid Of: Fear. Camp is an incredibly nurturing and safe environment enabling children to try new things, to test limits and to let go of fear.   It is an excellent time to break out of their comfort zone and take a few (reasonable) risks.

3.  Gain: Friendship. Camp is a wonderful time to solidify old relationships and cultivate new ones. The environment thrives on camaraderie, inclusion and close bonds where fellow campers learn to cooperate with one another, help each other, and encourage fellow campers to be their very best. Get Rid Of: Hostility. At camp there is no tolerance for gossip, slander, or bullying of any kind. On the contrary, it is an ideal environment for practicing kindness, consideration and “The Golden Rule.”

4. Gain: Interaction.  Good old-fashioned face-to-face communication is the preferred method of communication at camp. This is an excellent opportunity for kids to practice making eye contact and learning the subtleties of reading facial expressions and body language.  Get Rid Of: Technology.  No television, no smart phones, no computers of any kind are accessible at camp.  There is nothing to distract campers except the sounds of nature and possibly a little Justin Bieber playing on the counselor’s CD players.

5.    Gain: Quiet Time. At camp, there is an enforced period daily where kids are encouraged to quietly engage in an activity on their own without verbal exchange. This allows the mind to settle down so that introspection can take place.  Get Rid Of:  Stimulation. Our children are in need of constant stimulation and it is to their detriment.  They expect to be entertained 24/7 and as a result they are losing important self-soothing skills, as well as the ability to discover and develop their own talents and interests.

Like so many famous camp movies from “Little Darlings” to “Parent Trap” and “Camp Rock,” one thing’s for sure, my girls will be gaining everlasting memories. Whether participating in a Friday night talent show, dancing to music in their bunk with friends, or playing color war on the field, they are sure to come away with a smile having achieved a greater sense of self and a newfound confidence that will stay with them forever.

Father’s Day Etiquette – Don’t Give Dad The Shaft

When it comes to celebrating a day for parents, somehow dads seem to fall on the short end of the stick.  Father’s Day is paid about as much attention as the red-headed step-child sitting in the corner. 

Mother’s Day, however, is a very different story with the build-up beginning months in advance!  Dads everywhere scramble for brunch reservations or spa appointments to ensure their better-halves are pampered and tended to on their special day.  This delicate showering of affection is not necessarily out of love, but out of fear that if they do not do everything in their power to ensure Mother’s Day is unique and special, heads will roll and someone’s gonna have to pay!

I happened to ask several fathers over the past week what their plans were for Father’s Day and I was met with the same blank response that assumed not much fan fair had been discussed around the subject. But, you won’t see dad sulking on the couch or screaming at the top of his lungs that no one appreciates him.  Instead, he’ll simply smile and be thankful for whatever morsel of kindness is bestowed his way. 

Don’t give dad the shaft this Father’s Day, find a few ways to make him feel at least, almost equally as special as mom (wink).  Here are several ideas, although last minute, to show him you really care.

Let Him Be King of His Castle.  Let dad be in charge of the remote and settle in on a program that he likes – for once! If he wants to wear his favorite ratty old college shirt with the holes, so be it!  Hand him the sports section of the Sunday paper so he can read it cover to cover wherever he pleases. 

Give Him Some Space. As much as dad loves hanging with the family, this might be the perfect occasion for mom to take the kids out for a few hours to allow him some “me” time to relax without feeling guilty.  

Get Outdoors.  If dad is an athlete, offer to throw around the ball outside.  If he loves hiking, find a trail that has a scenic view and plan a picnic at the top. If biking’s his thing, go for a ride along the beach and follow it up with lunch at one of his favorite haunts before heading home.

Present Him with a Gift He Will Truly Enjoy.  Don't get dad a last minute practical gift because he needs it, use this opportunity to present him with something fun and unexpected that he will truly enjoy. Perhaps a book of 10 movie passes if he is a movie buff or a set of Beat Box headphones for the music lover who loves to sing in the shower.

Make Him a Home-Cooked Meal. We all know that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.  If he loves to BBQ, marinate his favorite meat for grilling and couple it with some tasty Cole slaw and beans as sides. If dad is newly vegan?  Channel Alicia Silverstone and whip up a tantalizing tofu or vegetarian recipe online that will punch with just as much flavor.

Happy Father’s Day to dads everywhere from your loving wives and children!!  xoxo

Manners Monday - National Etiquette Week 2012

This week marks the annual weeklong dedication to etiquette in all areas of American life and it couldn’t have arrived a moment sooner.  In an age where people are rushing, pushing and shoving to get ahead and everyone is expected to keep a breakneck pace to accomplish the umpteen thousand tasks set for each day, it is rare that an individual will stop, take a breath and puts themselves second in favor of their fellow woman or man.  Compound this with the invention of new technologies that further distance us and a nation that fancies electronic communication over face-to-face conversation and we are headed down an eroding and oblivious path to our own self-destruction.

Not a day goes by when someone somewhere is not angered, frustrated, upset, ticked-off, saddened, silenced, or annoyed by someone else’s insensitive, inconsiderate, uncaring, indifferent or inappropriate remarks.  People are pissing each other off right and left and placing blame without taking responsibility for their own actions and wrongdoings.  

It’s not likely we’ll be emulating our role models in politics, entertainment or sports anytime soon as they are often some of the worst offenders. You can't turn your head without hearing about a crooked politician who fell from grace, a loud-mouth entertainer who tweeted something blasphemous or a sports figure who resorted to physical violence when words didn't seem to cut it.

So where are we to turn and how are we going to take the necessary steps to make a change?  How can we stop being annoyed and defensive with others and apply more civility and politesse into our everyday lives?  How can we learn to restrain ourselves when standing in the face of the most frustrating of circumstances?  

I think it all begins with raising our consciousness level and collectively deciding to slow down so that we may begin incorporating these small considerations into our daily interactions.  With a big dose of commitment and a little bit of practice, we should be able to make a small adjustment for the better.

To test the waters and gauge where we are thus far, we have come up with a survey of questions to see what triggers us, how we respond to others and which areas need more paying attention to in the future.  Please visit our National Etiquette Week survey here http://survey.constantcontact.com/survey/a07e5wdgylhh1wkkper/start and let’s begin the conversation.  

Have a burning survey question you would like to add, feel free to send it in along with a multiple choice of answers, we'd love to hear what's on your mind!