“Manners Monday” - The Butler Did It –Codes of Conduct for Texting

I must confess, I rarely text. I can barely even remember that it’s an option on my Blackberry! Most of the time, I pretend it doesn’t exist merely for the fact that I’d much rather have a conversation with a person than type my thoughts or feelings into a piece of technology. Not to mention the fact that we’ve been warned time and again on the trials and tribulations of the oft-written text that can produce unforeseen ramifications. Every day there seems to be another politician, athlete or celebrity who has gotten into one form of trouble or another over a text (or sext) that was sent in haste. It’s not that I have to worry about this (after all as an etiquette instructor I pay extra careful attention to this area), but I’d just rather keep it simple in the event I accidentally slip and say something that I might regret and not wish to have memorialized forever.

While there are a number of written rules and codes of conduct for proper texting that are fairly obvious, I was interested to learn of an emerging phenomenon that was not necessarily on my radar and that is the butler lie. Written about recently in the New York Times, the butler lie “is a term coined by Cornell University researchers in 2009 to describe lies that politely initiate and terminate instant messaging conversations.” You know, those little white lies we make up to provide us with a valid excuse to jump off the phone quickly such as, “Gotta run, my kids are screaming,” “Yikes, I’m late for a meeting,” or “I’m heading into the canyon and about to lose reception.”

The idea is that, years ago we could place blame on the butler who was hired to graciously and judiciously get us out of awkward positions, now we’re forced to use our own social safeguards to do the trick and make us appear sincere when we are really avoiding a potentially sticky situation.

The second issue they mention is that these so called butler lies have become an integral part of texting today because we are constantly reachable and there is virtually no other way to let a person know you are temporarily unavailable without hurting their feelings. But these may not be excusable for long as new technology has allowed people to track when their texts are read by the recipient and tracking applications such as Google Latitude enables users to geographically locate people’s mobile phones. Whether we are able to effectively dodge the occasional butler lie or not, we have to be careful to use these lies sparingly and only in emergencies.

Text messaging, in general, is one of the easiest and most straightforward means of mobile communication, yet it comes with complications as users often abuse certain guidelines for common courtesy. Here is a list of other things to consider when formulating texts.

1. Familiarize yourself with the shorthand lingo. btw (by the way), brb (be right back), lmk (let me know) ttyl (talk to you later), lol (laugh out loud), 2day (today), ur (your), u (you), idk (I don’t know).

2. Watch your tone. As with email, there is no way for recipients to gage how you are feeling and what you are thinking, they only know what they are reading. Take extra measures to ensure your communication is harmless and cannot be misconstrued. When in doubt, it never hurts to throw in a smiley face just to help smooth things over.

3. Monitor your language. Limit the use of slang words and refrain from curse words altogether. With all of the words available in the English language choose to use the ones that make you sound more intelligent.

4. Restrict the use. Text messaging should be reserved for casual communications only such as letting someone know you are late to meet them or to send a quick phone number so they can reach you by phone. Texting should never be used as a tool to avoid confrontation such as the ending of a relationship or as a mechanism to make some grand confession like admitting to your neighbor that you did pick her prize roses to use in a centerpiece for your table.

5. Refrain from texting while in the company of others. Composing a text or answering a text while engaged in face-to-face conversation with others is just as rude as taking a call on your cell phone.

6. Never text while you drive! Oprah spearheaded a major campaign against texting while behind a motor vehicle, local governments passed laws prohibiting it, and some states will fine abusers hundreds of dollars. Whatever you do, do not ignore this rule, beyond the money you will save, you may be saving a life!!

7. Don’t hold your breath. If you do not receive a response to your text, don’t get upset or frustrated. You have no idea what the recipient is doing and if they check their text messages regularly. After a sufficient time has passed, you can always follow up your text with a subsequent message asking if it was received. Or, guess what? You can pick up the phone and call them!

8. Every text is evidence. As with all electronic communications, remember that text messages are permanent and can be traced. This is where users get into the most trouble, especially taking liberties with sexting (the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs electronically.) If you’re going down this dangerous road, think long and hard before pressing the send button.

Did you know that most of these rules apply across the board into all electronic forms from Twitter to email? What is your preferred form of communication? Let us know. We'd love to hear from you!

"Manners Monday" - Bracing Ourselves for Carmageddon

Carmageddon is coming and you’d better take a chill pill because, if all the predictions are correct, Los Angeles will come to a complete stand still this weekend causing major delays (and potentially major headaches) everywhere.

For those special few who have been living under a rock or recently awoke from a very long sleep, you may not have heard the breaking news, 10 miles of the 405 Freeway from Getty Center Drive to the 101 Freeway will be shut down in both directions beginning this Friday, the 15th at 10pm (with ramp closures expected to occur as early as 7pm) until the following Monday, the 18th at 5am. The reason for the closure is to improve a portion of the Mulholland Bridge and allow for the expansion of a car pool lane to ultimately help decrease congestion on the 405.

Many fortunate souls had the foresight and wherewithal to plan their exotic vacations or arrange a long overdue visit to their relatives during this time, but for the rest of us who are staying put and bracing ourselves for this auto storm, a little helpful advice on how to curtail our road rage and make the best use of our downtime is in order.

Should you find yourself stuck-in-the-muck (as my nephew loves to say) while driving across town to visit a long lost friend or to take in a blockbuster movie over the weekend, try a few of these suggestions to get you through gracefully and you may even come out a little smarter for the experience.

Break Out the Emergency Items. First and foremost, make sure you have a small emergency kit on hand so that you are well-prepared in the event you need aid on the spot. Lord knows how long it will take ambulances and fire trucks to get to you on this day. Don’t forget the sunscreen! What if your sunroof gets jammed open and the sun is shining down right upon you for hours on end? Sunscreen will ensure you at least tan evenly.

Stock Up on Snacks & Suckers. Regardless of whether you have kids or not, if you are caught in intense delays you will need to hydrate so stock up on plenty of cold water or other replenishing drinks. Put everything into a cooler with ice packs to keep everything cold for as long as possible. An assortment of snacks both savory and sweet will also keep you awake and occupied. I also highly recommend purchasing a supply of lollipops. Blow Pops and Tootsie Pops are my favorite. You may just be able to answer the age old question – how many licks does it take to get to the end of a Tootsie Pop?

Do Not Leave The House Without... Going to the bathroom. Once again, not just for kids, adults need to make one last trip to the potty too! Trust me, an empty bladder is a happy bladder. It is also wise to wear comfy clothes and shoes. You do not want to feel constricted and restricted by a pair of skin tight jeans (although they may be cute!) and your highest Louboutins. If you have to hit the brakes all of the sudden you might break an expensive heel at the same time. Instead, break out your Tod’s driving shoes. If ever there was an ideal time to wear these puppies, it would be now.

Remember the Rules from Driving School. To keep the traffic flowing, remember to use your signals to let others know if you will be moving to the left lane or right lane. Limit your horn use. Everyone is in this together and we don’t need an impatient driver laying on the horn to remind us to move forward nor do we need you giving us the finger or screaming at us at the top of your lungs. We’re moving as fast as we can. If you are a notoriously slow driver, stick to the right lanes which are meant for those just coasting and enjoying the ride. On the flip side, if you are a Mario Andretti in training or from New York (I can say this because I am) and know your blood will boil over if you are not driving in the fastest lane, then by all means move to the far left and stay there!

Consult a Compass. If you do not own a compass, you'd better know your east from your north and your west from your south. Here's a tip: the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Downtown is also located east and the beach is west. Also worth noting, the 405 Freeway runs north towards Santa Barbara and south towards San Diego. Purchase a map to get a bird's eye view of surface streets. You will definitely need to use them this weekend!

Take Up Meditation. This weekend may be the perfect opportunity to learn a new skill such as meditation. While in your car, pop in some contemplative, relaxing music and start your chanting or counting to ten backwards. Let your mind drift and your body melt into the seat. Picture yourself on a sandy beach in Hawaii with the wind blowing in your hair and a nice cool drink by your side.

Learn a New Language. Visit your local bookstore (if it hasn’t shut down yet) and purchase a DVD that will teach you a new language. Who knows, by the time you reach the Italian restaurant, you may be able to order your dinner in their native tongue accent and all!

Radio is the Sound Salvation. I love my music and you'll never find me in the car without something playing in the background. Traffic is an excellent time to brush up on your karaoke skills and discover the words to all of your favorite songs. Close those windows shut, crank up the air conditioning, pump up the volume and sing till your heart's content.

Squeeze in a Little Exercise. So maybe you didn’t make it to the gym 4 times this week and you’re feeling a little guilty. Now is the perfect time to work out those stomach core muscles by contracting and releasing your stomach or doing fast yoga breathing. How about that seat area? Squeezing and releasing your bottom will help tone your buttocks and create nice definition. Not just for mommies, men you too can improve muscle tone by strengthening your pelvic floor with Kegel exercises! Do a round of all three every 15 minutes and you’ll step out of your car slimmer than when you got in.

Let the Games Begin. Car games seem a natural to play at this time. Although you may be at a standstill, here are a couple of the most popular games to attempt: (1) The License Plate Game in which players attempt to find a license plate from each U.S. state until they have found all 50 and (2) The Alphabet Game in which players look at road signs and license plates to spot the letters of the alphabet, in order from A-Z, then the numbers 1-26 in order. In both games, first one to finish first wins. If you are driving solo, dial up a friend and play over the phone.

Final Thoughts. Fill up the gas tank on Friday morning to ensure you have plenty of juice to get wherever you may need to go over the weekend and while you're there have them check your water & Freon levels too! The last thing you need is to run out of gas or have your car overheat under these conditions and I wouldn’t count on AAA bailing you out either. They may be busy tending to more important things, like ACCIDENTS!

In the Future. Ten years from now, worries like how to survive "Carmageddon" may not be such a big deal. Apparently, Google is hard at work developing the first ever self-operating cars. If this occurs, then rather than hitting the gas and the brakes for hours at a time on our commutes, we can all just sit back and relax, curl up with a good book and take in the view while our cars drive us to our destination. Sounds good to me!

For more up-to-date info, follow @BeatCarmageddon on Twitter, and use the hash tag #carmageddon or check in with your local news station on satellite or traditional radio. Good luck and safe travels!!

"Manners Monday" - Summertime & Beach Etiquette

Summer, summer, summertime, time to sit back and unwind at the beach. True or False? True, if you’re the only person situated on a deserted island. False, if you try to venture out to the beach on a major summer holiday.

The 4^th of July is practically synonymous with going to the beach. The annual countdown begins at least a month in advance. The requisite new bathing suits in the latest styles, the spray tan sessions to get a “natural looking” base coat, the slimming down diets to show off flat abs and tight buns, the wax appointment right beforehand to keep discrete areas neat and tidy, the list is endless. Finally ready to rock your fabulousness, the last thing you need is to be bothered by annoying adults blasting their bad music, pesky children kicking sand onto your towel or thrill-seeking seagulls swooping down on your homemade fried chicken and expensive imported cheese.

We understand and we commiserate with you, so we’re prepared a list of proper beach etiquette tips to learn how not to be offensive to others and how to best enjoy the beach experience at holidays and all year long.

Dress Appropriately for the Occasion. The last time I checked, topless and nude sunbathing is frowned upon here in America, and in some cases is considered against the law. Unless you’re on a private yacht in the south of France or vacationing in Brazil, kindly keep your bathing suit PG-rated. Private parts should be sufficiently covered. The beach is for families and they are especially in tow on a big summer holiday.

Flip Flop Etiquette. Flip flops are perfectly acceptable foot attire to the beach, but should be removed as soon as your feet hit the sand. Why you ask? To avoid unintentionally flicking sand everywhere as you attempt to find the perfect spot on the beach. The only time to keep flip flops on while walking in the sand is if the sand is scorching and you need them to protect your feet.

Come Ready with Your Own Supplies. Everyone has their “must have” list of necessities for the beach. Most importantly, the list is to help you be prepared so that you do not have to constantly bother others with your requests for items you forgot at home. The bare minimum: sunscreen, hat, bottled water and towel. Kicking it up a notch: beach chair, umbrella, tunes, books or magazines (old school style), games, a cooler fully stocked with an incredible feast. Recommended for parents: full day supply of diapers and wipes, a Pack N’ Play or tent for shade, sand toys (BTW, don’t forget to write your name on them so you leave the beach with the same toys you came with), ample sunscreen, snacks and beverages.

The Early Bird Gets the Worm. If you are one of those people who perpetually arrives fashionably late, don’t expect to have first dibs on prime real estate at the beach. There is plenty of space and no one is entitled to a reserved spot, unless of course, you belong to a private beach club and the attendant has a reserved number of chairs and umbrellas set aside for members. To ensure you do not encroach on another person’s space, ideally there should be about 15 feet between distance between you and your neighbor. When selecting your spot, don’t forget to take into consideration high tide. Look for a high water mark, consult a tide chart or ask a lifeguard before settling down for the day.

Setting up Shop. If possible, organize your items so that you only have to take one trip on the sand to your spot on the beach. Walking back and forth is exhausting and will tucker you out before your day even begins. Before laying your towels down and inserting your umbrella, check to see which way the wind is blowing so that you don’t blow sand into your neighbor’s direction or block their view. Make every effort to consolidate your items into a small area that will not take valuable beach front away from others.

Keep it Down & Watch Your Language. We are well aware that the beach is outside, but that does not give you cart blanche to blast your latest iTunes mix on your giant speakers or shout profanities to your buddies when we are within ear shot trying to enjoy a family day with our kids. On the flip side, parents need to monitor their children and make sure little Mikey and Susie aren’t running amok hurling sand toys and fighting over the last Cheeto while adults are trying to enjoy a little peace and quiet or read the latest best-seller. Being outside entitles everyone to use their outside voice and have fun, just be mindful of how loud and crazy you get and keep it all in check.

Fun in the Sun. Game playing is great, but keep it away from others. First of all, it is obnoxious to play ball over others heads while they are trying to relax and secondly, it can be dangerous, especially if there are little ones around. This extends to water playing as well. Look out for others in the water before you engage in spirited splashing, dunking and other horseplay. Maintain control of boogie boards and other water toys so that everyone has a safe day in the sun. A special note to parents: keep an eye on your children. Organize plenty of activities like building sand castles, playing Frisbee or searching for the most unusual sea shell to keep them busy so that they do not wander off or, more importantly, wander into the water without your supervision.

Clean Up After Yourself. If only there was a “Smoky the Bear” or that Indian fellow who shed a single tear at the sight of litter being dropped at his feet to protect our beautiful beaches. Where’s the mascot to remind us to keep our beaches clean? I remember swimming once at a beach just north of Santa Monica and seeing plastic bags, soda cans and straw wrappers in the ocean. It was disgusting! Please take a garbage bag or paper bag with you to the beach and have the decency to collect all of your trash (that includes food wrappers, diapers, newspapers and whatever else you bring) and then deposit it into one of the large trash receptacles located everywhere.

Don't Bring the Beach Home with You. Carefully shake all items and sufficiently clean off anything with sticky sand before leaving the beach. Watch your neighbors to make sure you are not blowing sand dust in their wind. There is nothing worse than dust particles of sand found in the car, on the floor or in your bags when you return home. Shake off towels, clean dirty feet, wash out bathing suits and dump all bags before settling into your car or entering the house.

Give it One Last Look. Before making your final exit, patrol the area one all around your beach party scene one last time for any lost items,leftover food or litter.

Did I forget anything? Let me know what your beach rituals include? What items do you take? Have any tips for rude patrons? Share with us. We'd love to hear from you!

"Manners Monday" - Language Barriers

When I work with clients, we always begin with the first impression and I explain to them that how we sound and how we look are the primary criteria people use to form their initial opinions about us. How we sound, in fact, is a very big part of who we are, where we were born and the environment in which we lived. For example, a person raised in Fargo, North Dakota sounds completely different from another person born and bred in Brooklyn, New York or Macon, Georgia for that matter. Everyone has an accent whether it is easily detectable or not and in some cases it can become a barrier to our expression.

While it would be wonderful for everyone to sound like Julie Andrews straight out of “The Sound of Music,” that is not reality. Many are inhibited by the way they sound and others use the way they sound to their advantage. Some even make an entire career out of it! In thinking more about this subject, I realized that how we sound conjures up very vivid images of people, some stereotypical, with characteristics that the person may or may not feel is truly representative of them. For instance, why do we assume that people from Britain are intelligent or that people from the south are friendly or that Italian gentleman are suave? Let's take a look at some of the more common accents and stereotypes, as well as how accents are perceived in the work environment.

The British Accent. When we look at the character of Julie Andrews above, every word uttered out of her mouth is like music to our ears, whether she’s playing the character of a governess, a magic nanny, a Queen of Genovia or anyone else. In each of her on-screen roles, she is seen as competent, fastidious, intelligent and capable, all positive attributes that have served her well. Most people associate a British accent with professionalism, intelligence and class. It’s no surprise that businesses interested in putting their best foot forward will hire a British person to record their company message or do voice overs for their advertising campaigns. We see this frequently in films. Just look at the character, Pippi, the professional assistant portrayed in “Mr. Popper’s Penguins.” Her British accent coupled with her extreme resourcefulness made her out to be the world’s greatest assistant. Even in my profession, I have often wondered if it is easier for someone who is British to teach manners because the material lends itself to images of white lace, high tea and sophistication.

The Southern Accent. When I hear a southern accent, I immediately assume the person is going to be warm, polite and accommodating. I think of big toothy smiles and friendly greetings. My mind immediately goes to Matthew McConaughey in a cowboy hat and matching boots or Reese Witherspoon sitting on her grandmother’s porch drinking a mint julep. A perfect example is the character, Kenneth, on “30 Rock” who is portrayed as the hard-working, country boy who will bend over backwards to please the crazy mix of personalities that inhabit his office.

The New York Accent. I’m from New York originally and I do not think I have an accent as I left the city at a young age and was raised in Florida and California, but some people still detect the New Yorker in me. Most people would agree that a New York accent is often perceived as brash, working class and abrupt. People automatically think that if you are from New York, the concrete jungle, you are going to be impatient and rude. New York icons from Robert “you talkin’ to me” DeNiro to Barbra Streisand and even Nanny Fine present us with very clear stereotypical images of the city and its inhabitants.

The Midwestern Accent. Some folks in this part of the country suffer the worst stereotypes because they are unfortunately seen as unsophisticated and provincial. We can’t help but think of the movie “Fargo” and the mundane conversations spoken between lead character, Marge and her husband Norm Gunderson, whose heavy Minnesota accents offer a backdrop of hilarity to the entire film.

The Latin Accent. Fiery, steamy, sultry, sexy - these are the words generally associated with the Latin accent. From Don Juan to Ricky Ricardo and Javier Bardem, when these men open their mouths to speak, women just fall at their feet. The Latin accent has always been thought of as the language of love whether French, Spanish or Italian. Women too fall into this category with Sophia Loren and Penelope Cruz ranked high on the scale.

The Everyman Accent. Then there’s the quintessential everyman himself, Tom Bodett, spokesperson for Motel 6, reminding us that he’ll “leave the light on” if we need a convenient and inexpensive place to stay. Advertising firms search long and wide for the perfect voice that sounds warm, welcoming and inviting. Celebrities like Allison Janney have built second careers doing voice over work for national companies. She is well known as the trustworthy, comforting voice for Kaiser Permanente’s THRIVE campaign.

Accents in the Workplace. Depending on the nature of your work, your regional or national accent, may either be helpful or a hindrance to your career. Think about the person on the front lines answering the telephones dealing with customers and clients. Studies have shown that people with regional accents are actually perceived to be more trustworthy than other sounding accents. It is always wise to determine whether your accent has a positive or negative affect on your career advancement. A gentle toning down of an accent in certain circumstances can make all the difference. The bottom line is, whether you have a detectable accent or not, what may be far more damaging, is what you say and how you say it.

Emphasize Your Speech. Regardless of your accent, following these simple tips for good speech will help: (1) Breath - practice deep breathing, (2) Volume - adjust your volume to increase or decrease emphasis, (3) Pitch-is it high or low, low sounds more confident and powerful; (4) Rate - do you speak fast or slow, vary it, (5) Intonation and Inflection - this refers to the melody of your voice, show excitement, monotone is boring, (6) articulation and pronunciation, be precise, speak slowly and clearly; (8) Junk Words – stay away from lazy words such as “like,” “huh,” “nah,” “yeah,” “you know.” They make us sound unintelligent.

Do you have a thick accent you feel is helping or hindering you in your personal or professional life? Please share, we'd love to hear from you!

"Father's Day & The Tie"

Earlier this week, my oldest daughter was in panic to find an old tie of my husband’s to use for a Father’s Day art project she was completing at school just in time for the holiday. My youngest daughter was also working on an art project that involved a paper tie. The tie has become the unofficial symbol of “father” and all of his wonderful attributes. I haven’t researched it officially, but I am assuming that the tie was also a symbol of breadwinner as it conjured up images of dad leaving the house early each day off to work in his suit and tie. That was then and times have changed.

In today’s day and age, men wear ties less frequently and mostly in traditional businesses. In the internet world,, for example, no one would be caught dead wearing a tie to work. My husband, who is an entertainment attorney here in Beverly Hills hasn’t worn a tie to work or to meet clients in ages! I think the only time he wears a tie is to very formal occasions like in which it is mandatory.

Having grown up with a sister and now having two daughters of my own, I can’t say I’ve had much personal experience in this area and I’ve often thought about walking into Brooks Brothers and getting an official lesson. I think it’s an important skill that every boy and man should know, like changing a tire or unclogging the sink.

So in honor of Father’s Day and all of the dads and husbands out there who may still be wearing ties or may have an opportunity to wear a tie in the future, I thought we’d take a moment to go over some of the basics courtesy of Tie-a-Tie.net.

The Four-in-Hand Knot. This simple knot is the most classic and best suited for a standard button-down dress shirt. To tie the Four-in-Hand, select a necktie of your choice and stand in front of a mirror. (1) start with the wide end of the tie hanging a foot below the narrow end, (2) bring the wide end up and through the hold at the neck, then thread it through the knot, and finally (3) pull the knot up to the neck to tighten. Still having trouble? Go to the source http://www.brooksbrothers.com/tieknots/4inhand.tem for step by step details.

How to Properly Untie Your Tie. Instead of hastily tearing and yanking a tie from your neck, repeat all of the steps you followed to tie your tie initially, but now do so in reverse order! This will help to preserve your precious tie for years to come.

How to Get Rid Of Tie Wrinkles. After untying your tie, wrap the tie around your hand, then put it onto a table or into a drawer and let it rest for a while. To quickly get rid of tie wrinkles, hold the narrow end of your tie with your thumb, wrap the wide end around your hand and then place the wrapped-up tie on a flat surface for a couple of hours! In no time you will discover that all of the wrinkles are gone and your tie looks as fresh and new as if you had just purchased it at a store!

How to Treat Tie Stains. Every guy wonders how to successfully remove food or beverage stains from their favorite tie. This is because the majority of ties are made of silk which is a very unforgiving type of cloth. Rather than try to apply stain-removers, a safer remedy is to take your stained tie to the dry cleaners and ask them for help. The only downside to this is that once a tie is chemically treated, it may lose its original shiny look and feel. Ultimately, the best advice is to dine carefully and make every effort to protect your tie during meals.

Happy Father's Day to my husband whom I still love despite his preference to go most days without a tie!!!

"Manners Monday" - Business Cards - Still Useful After All These Years

Years ago when I was contemplating the design of my business card, I thought long and hard about the logo, the colors and the card stock I wanted to use to represent my company. I came up with the above card displaying a mansion which I thought was representative of many of the homes in Beverly Hills and utilizing a moss green and mauve pink (seen on the back of my card with all of my contact info) to page homage to one of my city's most famous landmarks, the Beverly Hills Hotel.

I take pride in presenting my business card and it is usually met with favorable comments which always makes me feel good. Not until I started learning more about business etiquette did I truly understand the value of the business card and the care and respect with which it should be treated. Like George Costanza, I would just stuff a new card into my already full wallet letting it bend and fold with the rest of the contents and never really giving it the complete attention it deserved.

Nowadays, it seems that the passing out of traditional business cards has gone the way of the land line telephone and handwritten thank you notes. Cards that once contained a street address, phone number and fax now display an email address and Twitter handle. Rather than shake someone's hand and exchange a paper business card, acquaintances are using smartphone applications or quick emails to exchange contact information.

I am a champion of the traditional business card as I am the handwritten thank you note and thankfully, a recent article in the New York Times pointed out that, "the business card does have a logistical advantage though: the universal ease of exchange. Swapping information mid-conversation or in a noisy crowd can be more cumbersome than pressing paper to palm. And not everyone owns a smartphone, or has the same applications for sharing."

Since it appears that traditional business cards have maintained a few useful attributes, let's take a moment to review some tips for purpose, presentation and storing.

1. A Valuable Tool. The business card is a valuable tool that should be utilized in all of your business dealings. Business cards are a representation of a company’s brand and corporate culture. They are also used as an effective way to communicate one’s position within a company.

2. Status Symbol. There is a certain status attached to the company business card. It is instant credibility and shows others that you are employed and official.

3. Have Plenty on Hand. Make sure to have plenty of cards available, especially if you will be networking, and keep them organized in an attractive card case. You don't want to be caught digging in your purse or wallet to find one. I use a beautiful silver antique looking cigarette case which holds my cards perfectly and also allows me a separate compartment to hold any new cards I may receive.

3. Present Them Properly. Always present your card with your right hand or both hands with the print facing the recipient. Never present your card with only your left hand as this is disrespectful in certain cultures.

4. Show Your Respect. When you receive a business card, take the time to view the card, place it in an appropriate and respectful place and refrain from writing on the card.

5. Don't Be Bashful. If you would like to offer your business card to someone who has not asked for it, simply ask for theirs first.

6. Transfer Information Immediately. After an event or dinner in which I've received business cards, the first thing I do is transfer the information to my computer (which I regularly sync with my Blackberry) so that I have an online version and then I tuck the card into my desk drawer for safe-keeping. This way I have something I can physically see and touch should I need to refer to it in the future.

7. Virtual Business Cards. Still want to go virtual? Newer sites like Hashable.com, Contxts.com and About.me allow users to create and share virtual business cards. There are also smart cards with QR codes (quick response) that can be scanned using an application like CardMunch.com and some smart phones can exchange contact information simply by holding the phones together!

Do you prefer paper or virtual? Do you think the business card still holds credence? Share with us, we'd love to hear from you!

"Manners Monday" - Handbag Etiquette

Talk about dream bags, this Kelly croc would be it for me! The navy is classic and timeless, chic and fashionable.

I just received my summer copy of Bergdorf Magazine in the mail this week and I always look forward to reading it, not because it will show me the latest in fashion, but for the imaginative selection of essays and interviews. In this particular issue, there was a wonderful essay entitled, "A Man Looks Into Handbags" by David Coggins, on the mystery of a woman's purse. It was perfect timing because I happened to read it just after purchasing a new handbag (technically a tote) that I had had my eye on for some time and I was feeling a little bit guilty. I think reading the piece provided me with just the validation I needed to turn my shame into sureness.

They say you can tell a lot about a man by his shoes and I feel the same way about a woman and her handbag. Is she the laid back and casual type? Does she shun upscale designer bags in favor of affordable, sensible ones? Is she over the top and has the Hermes store on her speed dial? No matter what the style, the price or the preference, a woman's handbag is sacred and it's contents supreme. Let's take a look at some popular bag types, where they should rest and what they should contain.

Most Popular Bag Styles: The Handbag, The Tote & The Clutch

A well-groomed woman finds it virtually impossible to own just one bag for all occasions and ensembles which is why there are three main categories of bag: the handbag, the tote and the clutch to choose from. She notices the craftsmanship and understands that one quality-made handbag will outlast three or four mediocre ones. Personally, I look at a handbag purchase as an investment especially if I choose one that is classic over trendy.

Size Matters

The size of the bag should be directly in proportion with your own. At my height, there is no way for me to rock a gargantuan tote, it would look ridiculous, but some of my taller friends, no problem! The most elegant bag is minuscule in size and is reserved for the most formal of occasions as compared to the larger tote model which is often used for everyday.

A Bag for Every Season

Since bags come in all shapes and sizes, it is wise to have an assortment in your arsenal for all seasons and occasions. (1) a large tote bag for travel or casual wear, (2) a practical leather handbag in neutral tones of either black, brown or beige to wear with urban ensembles, (3) a fine evening purse of silk, satin or velvet in black or dyed to match a cocktail party dress or coat, and a (4) straw handbag to accessorize an outfit for summer.

Everything But the Kitchen Sink

For those that own the most multitasking shoulder bag of all, a/k/a the tote, there is the big question of how much is too much? Haven't we all witnessed friends digging for hidden treasure in their bags only to get insanely frustrated because they can't find what they've been searching for! Michelle Pfeiffer portrayed it best in one of my favorite movies, "One Fine Day," when she pulled out a selection of items that ranged from snacks and Band Aids to pantyhose and enough crazy items to put together a last minute Halloween costume. Just because a bag is big doesn't obligate us to throw our entire lives in there before leaving the house.

The Essentials

So what are the must haves? The bare minimum: keys, wallet and cell phone. Keeping up appearances: lipstick or gloss, small comb, compact mirror, tissues, hand creme, chewing gum or mints and perhaps a small perfume sample. When inspiration strikes: a notepad and pen (b/c you don't want to reach for the lip pencil), agenda/calendar if separate from your phone. For the professional: business cards. As a special treat: I like to keep a couple of emergency lollipops (Tootsie or Blow Pops are the best!) on hand. You never know when you'll be stuck in traffic. Just a clutch: lipstick, cell phone, cash, credit card, ID & keys.

Where to Place Your Handbag

When walking: your handbag should be situated in your left hand in the crook of your left elbow, or on your left shoulder. Your clutch should also be held in your left hand. The reason for the placement on the left side is so that if you are socializing you may easily offer your right hand to greet someone without having to move your bag out of the way.

When dining: the most important thing to remember is that your bag should never sit on top of the table. It is considered incredibly rude. No matter how beautiful or special it is, unless it's a centerpiece it does not belong there. All shoulder bags, handbags and totes should also never be hung or slung over your chair. The only time you can hang a purse on the back of your chair is if your back is to the wall. The proper placement for these bags is either on a vacant chair or stool (if one is available) or placed on the floor at your feet to the left. Since the clutch is considerably smaller, it may simply rest it in your lap underneath the napkin and hidden under the table.

For Good Luck

There is an old Chinese proverb that states “a purse on the floor is money out the door." If you follow Feng Shui, you may want to refrain from putting your purse on the floor. The Chinese believe that putting your purse on the floor shows disrespect for the order of things, as well as disregard for your wealth and money. If you don't care about the Feng Shui, but are not okay with collecting germs, dirt or bacteria on your purse from a dirty floor, then a good solution to both of these problems is to purchase a purse hook. A purse hook slips easily onto the edge of the table and has a hook on the other end for your purse to hang by its strap. It's a bit tacky, but it does the trick!

Where do you put your purse? What are your essential items? In need of a purse hook? This site has a great selection http://www.pursehook.net.