Valentine’s Day Gift Giving Etiquette - A Pressure Cooker Smothered in High Expectations

Talk about putting on the pressure, the Valentine’s Day gift giving ritual is smothered in high expectations. A seemingly innocent gift from an amour is subject to all kinds of scrutiny that may be dissected and analyzed for years to come. Whether you’re dating or in a committed relationship, the gift is a symbol of the amount of love in the relationship. It is an oil and water check telling us how things are going.  If the connection is in good standing or if we’re headed off a cliff.  Did your mate spend hours pounding the pavement or just a few seconds scouring an online store?  Have they listened closely to your likes and dislikes to select a gift that is most meaningful to you or did they choose something purely for convenience’ sake?  One thing is certain, no one wants to spend the day dedicated to love fighting, or worse, breaking up over a gift that felt insensitive or phoned in. With only two days left, we've compiled a quick list of the most popular Valentine’s Day gift giving dos and don’ts to point your cupid's arrow in the right direction and inspire a day of happiness and passion for all. 

Chocolates. Dark or milk? Plain or nuts? Sees or Godiva?

Don’t: Don’t tempt your loved one with a large box of fattening chocolates, especially if they've been working like a dog to stick to a diet. You want them focus to be on you not spending the night complaining about how fat they look in their skinny jeans.

Do: Opt for gourmet bite-sized dark chocolate morsels with sea salt instead.  These are not only more healthy and satisfying, they are an aphrodisiac too. 

Flowers. To vase or not to vase, that is the question.

Don’t: Avoid the supermarket route cellophane-wrapped flowers complete with the sticker still on. This is a dead giveaway that you waited until the last minute. 

Do: Find out their favorite flower and have an arrangement displayed in a striking vase or present them with a box of long-stemmed beauties. If selecting roses, stay away from the yellow friendship ones. Red is the symbol of romance. If flowers aren't their thing, take a cue from Rachael Ray and wrap up their favorite food item instead. 

Jewelry. This is an investment. Do your due diligence.

Don’t: Purchase CZ’s and try to pass them off as diamonds or splurge on something big and extravagant when all they want is a delicate pendant or handcrafted leather bracelet. Unmarried? Avoid presenting a ring in a box which might be mistaken for a proposal.

Do: Know their taste or confer with a close friend before making any major purchases. Find out if they prefer rose gold, yellow gold, silver or platinum or none of the above.  Getting exactly what they want will thrill them and elminate a next day return.

Lingerie. Who is this gift really for?

Don’t: Use this as an excuse to visit an erotic lingerie store or pick up a prop right out of Fifty Shades of Grey. They might question your sudden interest and doubt their performance in the boudoir. On the flipside, a conservative bathrobe might make them feel old.

Do: Find the goldilocks gift.  Something tasteful, yet sexy.  Know their correct size.  Nothing too big or too small.  Something red or pink sends a loving message that you're ready for a night of fun. 

Accessories.  A smart handbag, shoes or a scarf? Go for the luxury brand.

Don’t: Bring home a fake and try to convince them it’s real. All luxury brands come with a card of authenticity.  Go this route and your partner will think you are incredibly cheap.

Do: Splurge on an item they're sure to appreciate. If you are working within a budget, there are plenty of beautiful accessories in all price ranges. It is much more wise to find something small, yet sophisticated.

Gift Cards. Tread carefully with these plastic babies.  

Don’t: Purchase any old gift card at the checkout stand. While they may need to stock up on household supplies, a gift card to Target hardly screams romance. Nor does a gift card to Starbucks, AMC Theatres or any other practical venue.
Do: Purchase a gift card from a spa that offers a unique experience or opportunity for your honey to rejuvenate and relax. Compliment the card with a small accompanying gift and you’ll get brownie points for going the extra mile. 

No matter how your mate expresses their appreciation, your job is to receive all gifts graciously with a giant smile. Choose to be grateful for your relationship on this day celebrating love. Realize that above everything else, that is the greatest gift of all! 

Read more.

For Men: http://90210manners.blogspot.com/2011/02/manners-maketh-man-what-women-really.html

For Marrieds: http://90210manners.blogspot.com/2014/02/manners-monday-simple-ways-to-step-up.html

For Singles: http://90210manners.blogspot.com/2012/02/manners-monday-how-to-survive.html

Holiday Office Party Survival Guide - 7 Tips to Maintaining Your Dignity & Keeping Your Career

If you work for a company, this is the final week to prepare for the holiday office party. Beginning in December, employees and management start bracing themselves for this annual seasonal event. While the minority looks forward with anticipation to the occasion, most drag their feet deliberating over whether they have to attend, how long they need to show face, and what genius excuse they can use to slip out quickly if necessary.  We spend most of our waking hours with our work mates, is it really necessary to celebrate the holidays as well, especially when we’ve seen how fast they can go awry?  Do we really need to watch Angus from Accounting guzzle his fourth bottle of beer atop the bar counter or catch a glimpse of Marsha from Marketing getting too chummy with her coworker in the corner booth?  The answer is YES.  

The holiday office party exists for two simple reasons. First and foremost, to show upper management you are jazzed about your job, and secondly, to mix and mingle with colleagues and prove you are a team player. This is not the time to let off steam from a hard year of slogging in the trenches and no matter how strong the holiday punch, you may never badmouth the boss. On the contrary, it’s an opportunity to network, advance, and shine. Here are seven tips to surviving the holiday office party and keeping your career.

1. Dress Up!  Style experts say to dress for the career you aspire to and the holiday office party is the perfect time to debut your new look. Dress festive, but professional. Refrain from wearing anything revealing and this goes for women, as well as men!  No low declotage or plummer's cracks please.  Leave the questionable Christmas sweater and Santa hat for the family party. This is not the time to let your freak flag fly as they used to say, especially if it will give your officemates the impression that you have an alternate career in the circus. 

2. Ration the Booze.  I generally advise partygoers to down a few espressos and some protein bars before arriving to any work gathering (followed by copious breath mintage). Even if there’s an open bar stocked with top shelf bottles, and you can only afford bottom shelf, make that highball last all night. Keep filling it with ice and water. A series of alcoholic beverages will leave you slow-witted, tongue-tied and a little over-affectionate. You won't be sorry the next day when you hear the story about Dan from Distribution who was dancing on the conference table and drunkenly mimicking the CEO.  

3. Beware of Overstuffing. Eat a little something beforehand to layer your stomach so you are not famished and overstuffing yourself at the buffet table. You are not stocking up for a hurricane. It can get weird watching officemates gorge themselves like it's their last meal, especially when they try to talk at the same time.  No cutting in line and please refrain from eating until you arrived at your table.  Remember, the focus should be on socializing, not filling your belly with food. 

4. Have Fun Without Being Too Friendly. The holiday office party is your in to freely socialize with higher-ups. Don’t ruin it by hitting on your office crush with everyone watching because you’ve downed a bucket of liquid courage (liquid insanity!). Have fun, but avoid getting too friendly. Experiencing a particularly rough holiday season? Keep it on the QT. There is no place for personal business at work.  Save your sorrow-drowning for the privacy of your own home. This is your career on the line. 

5. Keep Your Lips Zipped. This is one time of the year where upper management and employees mix and mingle. Don’t let loose with your opinions, the ones you’ve kept bottled up, all year, under lock and key. And never utter an ill word about the company or co-workers. Avoid talking about politics, religion, money matters, health issues, relationship problems and gossip of any kind. Good topics to get the convo going?  Ask a question or offer a compliment.  Talk about the weather, upcoming plans for the holidays or travel to visit family or friends, timely cultural events and exhibits, holiday movies, music and books.  

6. Sane Gift Exchange. When it comes to gifting policies, it never hurts to consult the HR department or somone who oversees office protocols to make sure it's acceptable. For the boss, nothing too personal or pricey, and nothing that touches the skin (no jewelry, perfume, clothing, intimates). Steer clear of personal gifts unless you know the person very well. Food items such as a fruit basket, bread delivery or coffee/tea gift card are practical and thoughtful. Books or magazine subscriptions make the perfect gift as long as the content is appropriate. Stay away from alcohol gifts, they may be frowned upon. Hand your boss a gift at the office or during the holiday party. Never send a gift to the home. 

7. Send Old School Thank You's. Being charming, thoughtful and kind is always be welcome at holiday time. A handwritten holiday card to accompany a gift or a heartfelt thank you note to a colleague takes precedence over a quick text or post on social media. Don't forget to send a special thanks to the person responsible for organizing that lavish, splendiferous, superfun office holiday party. There is no better way to make a lasting impression and ensure your job security in the new year.  

Group Gifts - Thoughtful or Tacky?

Is it inappropriate to email guests and ask if they would like to participate in a group gift for a birthday? Anonymous

For the most part, yes. I would refrain from sending a mass email regarding a group gift. I think it’s perfectly fine to send that as a suggestion to a small group of friends in your immediate social circle, however, I think some may take offense if it were sent to the masses. It tends to put people on the spot, especially those who prefer to simply bring a birthday card or purchase a small gift on their own.

The suggestion of a group gift may also be misconstrued and sometimes comes across as greedy or entitled. Some may feel that their presence at the party is what’s important and they do not want to feel pressured into contributing anything monetary.

If you are the host(ess) of the party, you want to be as gracious as possible and make everyone feel comfortable and welcome. That is your focus. Taking on the additional responsibility of orchestrating a group gift may detract from the spontaneity, joy and warmth of the party.

Care to comment? Send us your thoughts on the subject.