Galentine's Day Etiquette - Six Ways to Celebrate Your Gal Pals Properly

I’ve clearly been living under a rock. I was a big fan of Parks & Recreation from the beginning, but somehow missed the landmark episode in which Leslie Knope - aka Amy Poehler - officially christened the day before Valentine’s Day, February 13^th as Galentine's Day. 

A day dedicated solely to our BFF's. What a genius concept!  Our girlfriends are our greatest treasure and they deserve to be honored and cherished. These are the peeps who support us through thick and thin, inspire us to be our best no matter what, and hold us up when the chips are down.  They'll judiciously tell us our thighs look a bit large in our skinny jeans or hold our hair back when we're praying to the porcelain G-d and even give the stink eye to our exes if we ask them.  

Whether you have a hot date lined up for the 14^th or are celebrating your singlehood, girl code dictates chicks come before (you know what) any day of the week. Ladies always come first! So here’s how to celebrate your gal pals properly on Galentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day or, dammit, any other day of the year!

1. Take a Hike. Rather than the usual, ‘let’s have lunch’. Organize a feel good hike in the great outdoors.  Nothing says nurture, like good old mother nature. You don’t have to kill yourself climbing rocks and walking through steep terrain, just stretching your limbs with a good walk or moderate incline will put everyone in better spirits.

2. Lavish with a Galentine’s Day Gift. Select something your pals wouldn’t normally buy for themselves. No one reads anymore! Use this as an excuse to purchase an inspirational book or naughty read.  Anything that enlightens, moves us out of our ‘stuckness’ or evokes a good laugh will do.  Don’t forget to inscribe the book with a personalized note for each friend.

3. Host a House Party.  Ladies love to dance. Go to any party and notice how many girls are dancing without abandon while the guys stand dumbfounded ogling and wishing they could be so free. In the immortal words of country star Sam Hunt, “Turn your TV off and break that boom-box out.”  Dim the lights, take out the tequila, put on your favorite tunes and let loose for as long as you so choose.

4. Retreat to a Spa. You’d be hard-pressed to find a gal who doesn’t enjoy a little pampering.  Organize a mobile unit to come to the privacy of your own home, book an early evening gathering at your favorite day spa or, if you’re feeling really extravagant, hop a plane to the most luxurious offering on this continent or other. If you don’t want to break the bank, grab a few avocados for a facial mask, some cucumbers for puffy eyes, and a jar of coconut oil to add life to lackluster hair. Exfoliate, rejuvenate and come back feeling stronger than ever.

5. Make an Awesome Meal. As the saying goes, the gals who cook together, stay together. Well, perhaps that wasn’t exactly it, but you know what I mean. Research the perfect 3-course menu and invite the gals over to help you cook. Let them supply their favorite alcoholic beverages and start slicing, dicing, chopping and baking until you have a healthy, completely satisfying, gourmet-tasting meal that will leave you all feeling satiated, but not super full. 

6. Let Your Voice Ring Out.  Every lady wants to be heard. Make like you’re Queen B (Beyoncé), Adele or Lady Gaga at the Grammys and head out to the nearest karaoke bar. Let down your hair along with your inhibitions, grab that mike like you own it, and sing it loud and proud.  Get your girlfriends to video your superstar performance and play it back to remind yourself of the bad-ass gal you are or aspire to be.

Dedicated to my dearest girlfriends who are all unbelievably amazing, independent, strong, creative, warm, loving, and beautiful both inside and out. Here's to you!!

Valentine’s Day Gift Giving Etiquette - A Pressure Cooker Smothered in High Expectations

Talk about putting on the pressure, the Valentine’s Day gift giving ritual is smothered in high expectations. A seemingly innocent gift from an amour is subject to all kinds of scrutiny that may be dissected and analyzed for years to come. Whether you’re dating or in a committed relationship, the gift is a symbol of the amount of love in the relationship. It is an oil and water check telling us how things are going.  If the connection is in good standing or if we’re headed off a cliff.  Did your mate spend hours pounding the pavement or just a few seconds scouring an online store?  Have they listened closely to your likes and dislikes to select a gift that is most meaningful to you or did they choose something purely for convenience’ sake?  One thing is certain, no one wants to spend the day dedicated to love fighting, or worse, breaking up over a gift that felt insensitive or phoned in. With only two days left, we've compiled a quick list of the most popular Valentine’s Day gift giving dos and don’ts to point your cupid's arrow in the right direction and inspire a day of happiness and passion for all. 

Chocolates. Dark or milk? Plain or nuts? Sees or Godiva?

Don’t: Don’t tempt your loved one with a large box of fattening chocolates, especially if they've been working like a dog to stick to a diet. You want them focus to be on you not spending the night complaining about how fat they look in their skinny jeans.

Do: Opt for gourmet bite-sized dark chocolate morsels with sea salt instead.  These are not only more healthy and satisfying, they are an aphrodisiac too. 

Flowers. To vase or not to vase, that is the question.

Don’t: Avoid the supermarket route cellophane-wrapped flowers complete with the sticker still on. This is a dead giveaway that you waited until the last minute. 

Do: Find out their favorite flower and have an arrangement displayed in a striking vase or present them with a box of long-stemmed beauties. If selecting roses, stay away from the yellow friendship ones. Red is the symbol of romance. If flowers aren't their thing, take a cue from Rachael Ray and wrap up their favorite food item instead. 

Jewelry. This is an investment. Do your due diligence.

Don’t: Purchase CZ’s and try to pass them off as diamonds or splurge on something big and extravagant when all they want is a delicate pendant or handcrafted leather bracelet. Unmarried? Avoid presenting a ring in a box which might be mistaken for a proposal.

Do: Know their taste or confer with a close friend before making any major purchases. Find out if they prefer rose gold, yellow gold, silver or platinum or none of the above.  Getting exactly what they want will thrill them and elminate a next day return.

Lingerie. Who is this gift really for?

Don’t: Use this as an excuse to visit an erotic lingerie store or pick up a prop right out of Fifty Shades of Grey. They might question your sudden interest and doubt their performance in the boudoir. On the flipside, a conservative bathrobe might make them feel old.

Do: Find the goldilocks gift.  Something tasteful, yet sexy.  Know their correct size.  Nothing too big or too small.  Something red or pink sends a loving message that you're ready for a night of fun. 

Accessories.  A smart handbag, shoes or a scarf? Go for the luxury brand.

Don’t: Bring home a fake and try to convince them it’s real. All luxury brands come with a card of authenticity.  Go this route and your partner will think you are incredibly cheap.

Do: Splurge on an item they're sure to appreciate. If you are working within a budget, there are plenty of beautiful accessories in all price ranges. It is much more wise to find something small, yet sophisticated.

Gift Cards. Tread carefully with these plastic babies.  

Don’t: Purchase any old gift card at the checkout stand. While they may need to stock up on household supplies, a gift card to Target hardly screams romance. Nor does a gift card to Starbucks, AMC Theatres or any other practical venue.
Do: Purchase a gift card from a spa that offers a unique experience or opportunity for your honey to rejuvenate and relax. Compliment the card with a small accompanying gift and you’ll get brownie points for going the extra mile. 

No matter how your mate expresses their appreciation, your job is to receive all gifts graciously with a giant smile. Choose to be grateful for your relationship on this day celebrating love. Realize that above everything else, that is the greatest gift of all! 

Read more.

For Men: http://90210manners.blogspot.com/2011/02/manners-maketh-man-what-women-really.html

For Marrieds: http://90210manners.blogspot.com/2014/02/manners-monday-simple-ways-to-step-up.html

For Singles: http://90210manners.blogspot.com/2012/02/manners-monday-how-to-survive.html

Manners Monday - 5 Ways to Step Up the Manners in Your Marriage on V-Day

When it comes to long term marriage, manners can seem quite elusive. Once you've put in about seven years plus (they don't call it the seven year itch for nothing!) with your spouse sharing living quarters, exhaustive child rearing and/or opinionated in-laws, it's very tempting to bark orders and let your pleases and thank you's slide. Add to that already fragile recipe, a relentless work schedule and 24/7 access to online flirtations, and it's no wonder we are experiencing staggering divorce rates! Perhaps we should turn back the time and take a few cues from the "Downton Abbey" era. Resuscitating these formal niceties may be just the remedy to combat a comfortable rut between spouses. I imagine many a mate would prefer that their significant other stand at attention when they enter a room, rather than fart in it. They would appreciate a spouse who will offer to pull out their chair to be seated as opposed to seating themselves first. And, any partner who will take out the garbage when it is full rather than recklessly trying to cram in one last piece, comes across as incredibly thoughtful.  You see every little action, thought and reaction counts ten-fold in the days leading up to this Hallmark holiday. To ensure yours goes smoothly, here are 5 simple ways to step up the manners in your marriage on Valentine's Day and every day.

Sweat the small stuff. When it comes to marriage, the smallest gestures can make the biggest difference. If that means picking up your dirty clothes from the floor and putting them in the laundry, twisting the cap completely closed on the toothpaste, or greeting your spouse with a warm kiss instead of a grunt when you walk through the door, then so be it. Don’t give them any reason to get upset during this day devoted to love.

Make a new plan.  After many years of togetherness, married couples will take on certain roles. If you're the one doing the driving and shopping, as well as the cooking and the carpooling, your partner should offer to plan something interesting and romantic for you two to share in together. This may take some imagination, but it doesn't have to break the bank. Involve your spouse to make sure you are on the same page, but then show some initiative and confirm all of the arrangements on your own. 

Lose your tech. Technology has succeeded in separating us. When texting "I Love You" becomes easier than saying it face-to-face something is going terribly wrong. Do whatever is necessary to complete your work and show up in person for your spouse. Nothing is sexier than being present, especially if you travel for work or have your smartphone glued to the palm of your hand.  Ask your spouse meaningful questions and really listen to the answers.  This will automatically bring you closer, guaranteed.

Meet them where they are.  It is rare for a married couple to be exactly alike. As much as they have a shared love for one another, what may sound amazing to one partner may be a complete nightmare to the other. You know your spouse better than anyone, so put yourself in their shoes and try to find a happy medium you both can enjoy.  If they are a traditional romantic, put on some relaxing music, cuddle under a blanket, light a fire. If they prefer to loosen up a bit first, join them in a cocktail (or pressed juice smoothie) to take the pressure off. If they want to experiment Fifty Shades style, by all means go rogue, but be safe. Next time, you get to choose.

Communicate Considerately. Long time marrieds have a tendency to address their significant other in the same way they address their children when they are harried or upset. Your delivery doesn't have to be as formal as Lady or Lord Grantham's, however, speaking in a softer tone of voice, being selective with your choice of words, and daring to put a smile on your face can change the atmosphere in the room to a more positive one, almost immediately.

After many years together, you may be looking for some marriage validation. Great news! The book, Love Illuminated, by Daniel Jones, editor of the NYT's "Modern Love" column brings it. I haven't read it yet, but apparently after reading hundreds of thousands of email submissions from readers searching for love, he has found that most everyone is looking for the same thing - marriage and a committed relationship.  Happy Valentine's Day. ♥

Manners Monday – “How to Survive Valentine’s Day as a Single”

Not everyone is perfectly paired off for Valentine’s Day. Once upon a time, I’m sure even Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie experienced a lonely night or two when the fateful holiday came around and there was no special person waiting for them in the wings. Valentine’s Day can be a tough holiday for a singleton and we’re not gonna sugar coat it by telling you to keep your chin up and put down the tub of chocolate ice cream you have been devouring with a shovel. Instead, we are going to politely point our finger at you and say, snap out of it sista!  

Trust us, it is a thousand times more pleasant to hang by yourself or with a friend than to grin and bear it with a male stand-in just to save yourself from being alone. For goodness' sake, don’t beat yourself up either! Better to embrace the holiday and use it as an opportunity to spend some quality time taking care of you.  After all, a thousand self-help books will confirm that you must love and accept yourself first in order to truly love and accept another. 

On the bright side, it’s not like the perfectly paired off couples are in a constant state of bliss.  They too have their share of real problems, even on Valentine’s Day. So pick yourself up, dust yourself off and take a look at our five inventive ways for reclaiming your self-confidence to ensure you come out of this holiday, not only with your dignity intact, but smelling like a rose.

1.  1. Be a Good Friend. There is nothing like a good female bonding session with your single friends on Valentine’s Day. Although it may seem last minute, play hostess to your girlfriends and invite them to a party at your place complete with mood music, scrumptious food and chick flicks. Purchase some decadent chocolates and French champagne to celebrate your singlehood and the value of supportive friends.

2. Raise Your Glass. Put on an eye-catching dress and head out for an evening on the town.  Arrange to meet a single friend at a nice bar where the two of you can share a toast to your fabulous selves.  Now that you’re relaxed and feeling good, test out your meet and greet skills by introducing yourself to a few new people. Engage in conversation and be sure to listen.  You never know who may be sitting beside you.  A future boss, companion, friend?  

3. Pamper Yourself.  Arrange an evening of pampering so that you feel your absolute best. Treat yourself to a blow dry at DryBar, take in a makeup lesson at Neiman’s, make a massage appointment at a spa, splurge on a mani/pedi including the paraffin wax for extra softness for your skin. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to take a class on painting or sculpture? Whatever your fancy, live it up because you certainly deserve it!

4. Do Some Soul Searching. Make this night all about you and a deep soul searching of what you want out of life.  We’re not telling you to stroll through the bookstore for the latest self-help book, instead we’re telling you to respect yourself and take action.  Grab some magazines and glue and begin creating a vision board, start journaling, write a love letter to yourself citing all of your positive attributes or do some mindful meditation.  Any one of these exercises is guaranteed to make you feel more confident and content come morning.

5. Break Out of Your Comfort Zone. In order to be a person of the world, you have to take risks. Use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to be adventurous and book an impromptu trip!  Take a drive in the car, hop on a plane, make arrangements to get out of town and take in a new environment.  If you don’t feel brave enough to go it alone, visit a distant friend or relative. Either way, the change of atmosphere will do you good.  When we open our minds, our hearts soon follow.

If you are down in the dumps, just Google Valentine's Day television episodes. I guarantee you'll find levity in the hundreds of sitcoms dedicated to a night of high expectations that went horribly awry.  

“Manners Maketh the Man” – What Women Really Want on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and women everywhere are contemplating what February 14th is going to look like for them. First of all, they are wondering if their significant other has even bothered to remember the date on the calendar and, secondly, if they actually took the initiative to make a special plan.

This holiday brings with it a tremendous amount of pressure for couples, expectations are high and when they’re not met, it can be a recipe for disaster. Even if your lady is the low key type who just wants to kick it at home with a casual dinner for two on the sofa, make sure you find an appropriate way to make her feel valued and appreciated. At the end of the day, it’s not about how much money you spend (although we do appreciate a gift of tasteful jewelry on such occasions), it is about the quality, effort and time you invest in making us feel special.

Men, take heed, especially on Valentine’s Day, women want you to step it up a notch, pull out all the stops and act like our princes in shining armor. So if there was ever a perfect time to whip out your good manners, I think a day that celebrates love would be it!

To help you better navigate these tricky waters to discover what women really want, here are a few expert tips.

• Make Dinner Reservations. Most women want to be wined and dined on Valentine’s Day. They want to get dressed up, feel sexy, relax and enjoy the evening with their significant other. It is always safe to make a couple of reservations at different restaurants so that you have a choice. Alert your lady with a heads up as to the appropriate attire so that she is not over-dressed or under-dressed for the occasion.

• Be a Romantic. Valentine’s Day is all about romance. If you are going to send flowers, make sure they are tasteful, not cheesy. If you buy a box of chocolates, double check to see if she is dieting that week, if she’s been crazy busy and in need of a little R&R, plan a his and hers massage or a weekend getaway. Remember the more consideration you put into this, the more romantic it will seem.

• Give Some Thought to the Card. Men, listen up! Women read into the card big time!! Do not hold back in this area. Feel free to express your undying love and gratitude for the fantastic woman she is. You can choose a funny card or a serious card, but add at least a few lines of original text. Whatever you do, make sure that your closing includes the actual word “love” or you may find yourself spooning your pillow on the couch!

• Get Rid of the Technology. If you are a very important man with a very busy job, try to break away from the phone and the computer to unplug for the evening and give your significant other the time she deserves. Trust me, your work will still be there in the morning and you deserve a night off too!

• Turn on that Chivalrous Behavior. Arrive on time to meet us, help us with our coat, open the passenger door to the car, walk curbside, pull out our chair at the table, pay for our dinner (note: this is not a good time to go dutch!), make pleasant conversation and take a sincere interest in what we have to say. Honestly, this is the most appealing quality of all and will guarantee fun is in store later on in the evening.

Finally, what we are really looking for is the perfect man on Valentine’s Day (and every day for that matter.) Someone who is charming and chivalrous, yet has an air of mystery and is able to catch us off guard. We want our men to be confident and well-mannered, yet we want them to be passionate and unpredictable (in the good way.) We want them to be driven and independent and allow us the opportunity to spread our wings and fly. Bottom line, women can be a tad demanding, we require a smidge of finessing and we are certainly not easy to deal with, but we love our men and we appreciate them most when they just try to “get us.” Good luck gentlemen!!

"I Never Met a Chocolate I Didn't Like" - How to Eat & Enjoy Chocolate

Well, I suppose if I'm being totally honest, that's not exactly true. I am not a huge fan of truffles or boxes of chocolates because I don't like creamy centers or certain fruits and nuts mixed with my chocolates. I am a big fan, however, of solid chocolates. I used to eat only milk chocolate, but since dark chocolate has become so popular I have noticed that I actually prefer it because it has a finer quality and taste. I usually only eat white chocolate if it is made with coconut. As far as big name brands go, I think See's and Godiva are my favorites. Locally, my highend favorite is Madame Chocolate on Canon Drive in BH. Their hot chocolate rivals any cafe in Paris and their solid bars are not only to die for, but make beautiful and tasty gifts. My everyday favorite is Edelweiss in BH or at the Brentwood Country Mart. Their chocolate covered marshmallows taste decadent without feeling like you consumed a million calories in fat. Given that we are coming upon the biggest chocolate holiday of the year, Valentine's Day, I thought it was high time to uncover the proper way to eat as well as enjoy chocolate. Here are my top fave tips for doing it the right way!

Eat chocolate in moderation. Whether a chocolate fanatic or a dabbler who only indulges on special holidays, chocolate is best enjoyed in moderation. It is very rich and high in calories and can take a toll on your waistline. Chocolate can also be quite expensive and burn a hole in your pocket, especially if purchasing the finest quality. However, dark chocolate, enjoyed in small amounts, has been found to have several health benefits from lowering heart disease to lowering cholesterol and high blood pressure. Chocolate comes from the cocao plant and contains many of the flavonoids and antioxidants that are found in dark vegetables.

Educate yourself on the extensive varieties. Chocolate is a delicacy that comes in many varieties from the best milk chocolate, to the finest quality dark chocolate and sweetest white chocolate. An experienced chocolate connoisseur seeks only Swiss made chocolates as they are held to a higher standard than American chocolates. Dark chocolate comes in a range of intensity from 45% to 100% cocao content. It is advised to start at the low end and work your way up. The higher the intensity the more bitter the chocolate will taste. 100% intensity has absolutely no sugar content at all and is extremely bitter and unpleasant tasting. Good chocolates start at 68% cocao content. White chocolate has a delicious, creamy sweet flavor because there is no added cocao at all, instead cocao butter is used. Bottom line - if you're going to splurge, do it with whichever brand or variety strikes your fancy!

Take time to savor the flavor. Chocolate is to be experienced slowly and with pleasure. Begin the process by cleansing your palate. A drink of warm water will do the trick. This will enable your taste buds to really appreciate the chocolate. Because of the solid nature of chocolate, if it is chewed and quickly swallowed the flavors will be missed. As a result, chocolate is best enjoyed when allowed to linger in the mouth and melt before swallowing. This enables the maximum amount of flavor to be consumed by the palate. As with wine, chocolate differs in taste and quality depending on the subtle flavors that have been added which can range from a mixture of fruits, herbs or spices. Take the time to discern the many ingredients to determine which flavors most suit you.

Delve into the guilty pleasure. Chocolate is one of the six foods of love. The chemicals, phenylethylamine and serotonin, in chocolate stimulate the pleasure points of the brain. Chocolate is soft to the touch and provides a sensuous feeling in the mouth. Give it all the attention it deserves. For maximum enjoyment, clear away the distractions, close your eyes and internalize each piece.

Wipe up your mess. As good as chocolate tastes, it can also be a complete mess. When eating chocolate desserts or candies, make sure to have an ample supply of napkins or wipes nearby to clean up after yourself. At a restaurant, remember to use the inside of your cloth napkin (a) to avoid a big stain on the visible part of the napkin and (b) to avoid accidentally smearing chocolate onto your face instead of wiping it off. Finally, beware of smiling for the camera or getting close with your significant other after diving into a big bite of chocolate. Take a swish of water to clean things up a bit before you say "cheese" or lean in for a big kiss!

All this talk about chocolate has got me jonesing for a piece. Now, where did I hide my secret stash???