Manners Monday - This Halloween Bring On The Sweet Treats & Give the Tricks a Much-Needed Break

In honor of National Candy Corn Day, this Halloween let's focus on on the sweet treats and give the tricks a much-needed break.  Lord knows we all could use it. The past couple of months have been a particularly challenging time in our country from the disastrous hurricanes and the terrible atrocity in Vegas to the Weinstein sexual harassment scandals and the Russian controversies, we've had our fill of nasty tricks, thank you. it's time to bring on a few welcome treats!  

As you prepare to set out on Halloween night in search of the best candies to fill your stash, please take a moment to review these helpful tips. They're guaranteed to keep the most ghastly goblins or ghouls in line.

Ditch the Clown Costume. As far as costumes for children, the general rule is that they be age appropriate and kid-friendly. The movie "It" served to solidify the already universal panic surrounding menacing clowns, therefore these costumes are still banned from schools and parties. Political outfits are as popular as ever with Trump costumes filling the shelves, but politically incorrect outfits or extremely scary horror costumes are never acceptable. Ask yourself one simple question, "Is my costume disrespectful or would it offend or scare another person at the party?" If the answer is yes, then find an alternative choice. 

If You're Old Enough to Drive...Trick or treating is a tradition reserved for younger children who look forward each year to dressing up in their favorite costumes and going door-to-door to receive unlimited amounts of sugary treats. Most teenagers typically lose their interest, but if you're sixteen and still stomping around in your scary costume, it's time to turn in your pumpkin bucket.

Treatin' In N Out of the Hood. It is perfectly acceptable to travel outside one's own neighborhood, particularly, for children who live in a canyon without sidewalks or who live in a neighborhood that is less than child-friendly. However, if you do decide to leave your hood, the next best thing is to trick-or-treat with a friend in their area or find an alternate place that feels comfortable and familiar. Wherever you choose, be respectful of lawns and gardens and use the sidewalks or pathways leading up to the front door. If a house is dark and all the lights are turned off, this is a signal that the family is not participating in the ritual or may not be at home.

Hosting & Ghosting Halloween Parties. Anyone with a birthday in October knows how much fun it can be to have a Halloween party. If you are hosting, be gracious and provide ample treats and entertainment for your guests. Encourage everyone to come dressed in costume to help set the tone for the party. A little spooky music adds to the fun. Make sure to be a good guest as well. Don't ghost your host by not responding to an invitation and never show up empty-handed. Bring a birthday gift or host gift for the party-giver as a thank you for including you in the festivities.

Safety First on the Night of Fright. Begin trick-or-treating at dusk while there is still some light for safety. Sidewalks and lawns lined with electrical cords can be dangerous. Come prepared with flashlights to make sure you do not trip or fall. Have supplies on hand for emergencies. Keep a couple of Band-Aids and Neosporin in your pocket should minor accidents occur. Make sure to look both ways before crossing the streets. Although there are more pedestrians out than usual, it is still dark and drivers may not see clearly. Adults and children should stick together at all times. There is nothing more treacherous than trying to track down a small child in the pitch black of night.

Tricks within Reason. Halloween is meant to be fun, but never at the expense of others. Contrary to what we might see on television or in the movies, it is not an opportunity to toilet paper a neighbor's front yard or throw eggs at their front door. It also does not give one free reign to steal or damage pumpkins or other decorations. It is wise to stay away from anything that could potentially cause property damage as these types of pranks are not only dangerous but illegal. If pranks and tricks are a must, try creating an imaginative fun house or haunted house for your friends and other guests to experience.

Teal is the New Orange.  NOTE FOR KIDS WITH NUT ALLERGIES: The Teal Pumpkin Project is a new organization designed to raise awareness for kids with peanuts and tree nuts food allergies. If you see a Teal colored pumpkin, it is a signal that a home is handing out non-food treats. Whether a non-food or candy treat, teach children to be patient and polite and limit themselves to one piece unless more is offered. Remind them to say please and thank you and try not to crowd or stampede the doorways. 

General Halloween Etiquette Tips. Halloween is a perfect "training" time to teach children how to mind their "P's" & "Q's." After just a few house visits, your two-year-old will be an expert! At least one parent should accompany all children up to the age of twelve. Trick-or-treating should generally end around 9pm as most families with children and older adults are preparing for bed by that time. Parents should check the treats of the younger children before they eat them. Children should never eat anything that is handmade, unwrapped or specially prepared unless they personally know the family.

Manners Monday - "Bad Manners that Spook Me"

A black cat literally crossed my path this morning.  I was driving home from the gym at the early hour of 7am minding my own business when all of the sudden a cat popped out of nowhere and scampered across the street right in front of my car! I paused for a moment and wondered if the cat crossing was an ominous sign.  Did the cat know that Halloween was looming on the horizon?  Did he want to give me a little pre-Halloween scare?  I have absolutely no clue.  What I do know is that the silly cat succeeded in spooking me a little and became the inspiration for today’s Manners Monday post. 

Appropriately entitled, “Bad Manners that Spook Me,” I thought about the multitude of bad manners we have resigned ourselves to accept over the years that are natural repellents preventing us from being our best selves, as well as the collection of appalling manners we have come to amass more recently as a direct result of our deeply entrenched technological age and it scared the bejeezus out of me!  The bad manners examples  seemed endless with the most popular categories falling the three prominent areas of table, tech, and every day manners.  Below is just a smattering of what we found spooks us the most when it comes to bad manners.  What spooks you?  Share with us and let's see if we can make a dent to decrease our ill-mannered ways by next Halloween. 

Bad Table Manners that Spook Me

• Chewing with one’s mouth open.
• Talking with a mouth full of food.
• Using a finger to push food onto a fork rather than using a knife.
• Cutting ones food using the pitch-fork style rather than using the Continental style of dining.
• Cell phones on the table during the meal.
• Parents who let their kids use tech toys at the table to keep them calm.
• Relentless rudeness to the wait staff.
• Haggling over dollars and cents rather than just splitting the bill.

Bad Tech Manners that Spook Me

• Personalized smart phone rings that draw too much attention.
• Texting when in the company of others.
• Texting in favor of conversing with another who is well within ear shot.
• Texting a back-and-forth heated exchange instead of just picking up the phone!
• Irresponsible, thoughtless tweets. Who knew 140 characters could get us into so much trouble?
• Causing FOMO on Facebook by posting egotistical photos and captions of one’s fabulous life.  
• Emails with poor grammar, sentence structure and spelling.

Bad Every Day Manners that Spook Me

• Slow drivers who refuse to move into the slow lane.
• Someone who lets the elevator door close when another person is clearly approaching entry.
• A poor handshake that resembles a knuckle-cruncher.
• A loud talker who thinks the world needs to hang on their every word.
• Showing up to any party without a gift, unless it expressly says, “No gifts please.”
• Repeated tardiness from the same person.
• People who consistently exclude, put-down or are critical of others.
• Someone who continuously forgets your name and acts like they’re meeting you for the first time.
• Belching and passing gas in the company of women.

Feel free to add the manners that spook you the most to our growing list. Send them into us and we will be sure to incorporate them. Happy Halloween!!

Manners Monday - "Tricks are For Kids" - Halloween Etiquette Primer for Kids of all Ages

Kids of all ages love Halloween. Young children begin prompting their parents for costumes as early as August. Some of them have been planning which superhero or princess they want to be months prior while others can't wait to visit the pumpkin patches and eat candy corn till their hearts are content. Many celebrate with Halloween parties and decorated houses and a few skip the festivities altogether preferring to curl up on the couch watching a scary movie. However you choose to acknowledge the holiday, parents and children alike should take a moment to review our essential Halloween etiquette tips on how to survive the night of fright!

Trick-or-Treating. Halloween is a perfect "training" time to teach children how to mind their "P's" & "Q's." After just a few house visits, your two year old will be an expert! Begin trick or treating at dusk while there is still some light for safety. Try not to crowd or stampede the doorways or lean on doorbells. Teach your children to be patient and polite and to remember the all important "please" when they ask for a treat and "thank you" when they receive it. There is nothing like seeing a ghost or goblin at your front door with impeccable manners. At least one parent should accompany all children up to the age of twelve. Trick-or-treating should generally end around 9pm as most families with children and older adults are preparing for bed by that time. 

Neighborhoods. It is perfectly acceptable to travel outside one’s own neighborhood, particularly, for children who live in a hillside neighborhood without sidewalks or for children who may be living in a neighborhood that is less than child-friendly. However, if you do decide to leave your neighborhood, the next best thing is to trick-or-treat in a neighborhood that you are familiar with or that is the neighborhood of a friend. If a house is dark and all the lights are turned off, this is the unwritten signal that the family is not participating in the ritual or may not even be at home.

Costumes. As far as costumes for children, the general rule is that they be kid-friendly. Politically incorrect outfits or very scary horror costumes are not considered appropriate. Older teens and adults may choose to let their wild imagination get the best of them, however, etiquette dictates that whatever they choose, they should try to be considerate of others and their environment. Ask yourself one simple question, "Is my costume disrespectful or would it offend or scare another person at the party"? If the answer is yes, then find an alternate choice. 

Candy.  It's amazing how much power is packed into this 5-letter word.  The mere mention of candy sends kids into a feeding frenzy. They will do anything for it!!  The number one rule with Halloween candy is to make sure parents have checked it before it is eaten. Children should also stay away from candy that is handmade or specially prepared unless you know the family. As far as managing their intake and what to do with all of their leftover loot, my daughters' school had some fabulous suggestions for young children:  (1) Allow small children to choose 3 treats as they’re trick-or-treating and save the rest. Then suggest they select 5 more pieces to keep and leave the remainder out for the Sugar Witch who picks up the candy while they’re sleeping and leaves a small gift behind.  (2) Set up a Halloween shop where your child can “buy” small items: toys, books, hair-clips, cool pens, etc. for every 6 oz or 4 bars of candy they use as currency.  (3) Let them choose to keep the candy at the rate of one piece every two days or opt to swap it in for any toy $10 or less at Toys R Us they want. For other alternatives and candy donations, check out  http://www.redtri.com/los-angeles/a-sweet-way-to-give-back-candy-buy-backs-in-la for a variety of ways to contribute your unwanted treats. 

Halloween Parties. Anyone with a birthday in October knows how much fun it can be to have a Halloween party. Encourage everyone to come dressed in costume to help set the tone for the party. Create a festive atmosphere by throwing on a scary movie in the background along with a soundtrack of spooky music.  Remember if you are hosting the party, be a gracious host and provide plenty of treats for your guests.  To cater to everyone, try to include a few health conscious options.  Make sure to be a good ghoul guest as well. Don't forget to bring a birthday gift or host gift for the party-giver as a thank you for including you in the celebration.

Pranks and Tricks. Halloween is meant to be fun, but not at the expense of others. Contrary to what we might see on television or in the movies, it is not an opportunity to toilet paper an individuals front yard or throw eggs at their front door. It also does not give one free reign to steal or damage pumpkins or other decorations. It is wise to stay away from anything that could potentially cause property damage as these types of pranks are not only dangerous, but illegal. If pranks and tricks are a must, try creating an imaginative fun house or haunted house for your friends and other guests to experience.

Safety First. It is best to have ample supplies on hand for emergencies. Sidewalks can be treacherous and lawns lined with electrical cords can be dangerous. Come prepared with flashlights to use to make sure you do not trip or fall. Keep a couple of Band Aids and some Neosporin on hand should minor accidents occur. Make sure to look both ways before crossing the streets. Although, there are more pedestrians out than usual, it is still dark and drivers may not be able to see clearly. Adults and children should stick together at all times. There is nothing more difficult than trying to track down a small child in the pitch black of night.

Guidelines for Older Children. Before the evening begins, parents should lay down a few ground rules with regard to expected behavior, general safety and curfew.  With regard to trick-or-treating, a child who has reached the age of sixteen or seventeen should retire their pumpkin candy bag for good.  When it comes to costumes, older children and teens should not let their wild imagination get the best of them. They can still wear something creative that is not disrespectful or offensive to others.  If they are attending a Halloween party, check to make sure there is a chaperon in attendance and that no alcoholic beverages are being served. If in doubt, offer to chaperon yourself. Curfew times should be age appropriate and explained before anyone leaves the house.

Any other Halloween etiquette tips you'd like to share that have worked for you and your family?  Please share with us.  We'd love to hear from you!