Best & Worst Manners Moments of 2014

The past twelve months have absolutely flown by. Talk to anyone young or old and they share the same sentiment. I’m certain it’s a symptom of the fast-paced world we live in, one that has us incessantly running at warp speed from the moment we open our eyes till the second our head hits the pillow. Our busy lives have not only made time pass more quickly they have opened the floodgates for bad behavior. We’re simply too exhausted to self-regulate, desperately trying to gain attention, or frantically trying to cover up a misstep. We live under a microscope of scrutiny where our every move is monitored with little margin for error.  Those that shine are the lucky individuals who have their heads on straight, keep their manners intact, and their eyes on the prize (whatever it may be). Let’s take a look at this year’s best and worst manners moments as we bid adieu to 2014 and usher in twenty-fifteen.

In Entertainment

Best: King of Late Night, Jimmy Fallon and ABC World News Tonight anchor, David Miur. Both gentlemen took the helm in their respective fields this past year adding a touch of grace and class to late night and the evening news. They are not only uber-talented, they are good-natured, possess an incredible work ethic, inspire millions and exude a passion for what they do.

Worst: Sony Pictures exec Amy Pascal whose character came into question after a massive Cyber Attack exposed less than flattering, racially toned email communications she shared with film producer Scott Rudin about President Obama and a host of Hollywood stars. Although she made her best attempts to apologize, the revealing comments sent a larger message throughout the industry and provided a wakeup call for how business will be conducted in the future. Justin Bieber made our list again for more outrageous behavior including egging a neighbor’s home. And, Dennis Rodman who befriended the North Korea dictator, Kim Jong-un - coincidentally the subject of the controversial film, “The Interview” which sparked the Sony hacking fiasco - checked into an alcohol-rehabilitation center after facing embarrassment and backlash for his visit to North Korea.

In Comedy

Best: We lost two legendary comic geniuses this past year, Joan Rivers and Robin Williams. While their brands of comedy were vastly different - Rivers a brash girl from Brooklyn known for her acerbic, self-deprecating wit and Williams an improvisational wizard and stand-up extraordinaire living in San Francisco - both were considered national treasures, true professionals, loving parents, and kind souls who treated everyone with great affection and respect.

Worst: Beloved Bill Cosby did not end the year on a high note.  The groundbreaking comedian known as a trusted figure pitching such wholesome brands as Jell-O and promoting education and good values through his “Fat Albert” series faced a litany of allegations accusing him of sexual misconduct and rape.  His mishandling of the charges and inaction has resulted in the shattering of his squeaky clean reputation and has halted both his current and future projects.

In Politics

Best: Their Royal Highnesses, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, have topped our list once again with the news of a second child expected in April. They took the U.S. by storm in December charming and disarming everyone with a series of engagements on behalf of the Royal Foundation and other charities with which they are closely associated.

Worst: The news conference held for Governor Chris Christie as an attempt to apologize for the alleged closing of traffic lanes on the heavily traveled George Washington Bridge.  ‘Bridgegate’ as it was later dubbed, was apparently a retaliation to Fort Lee Mayor, Mark Sokolich, for not endorsing Christie’s re-election bid.  

In Sports

Best: Derek Jeter who wrapped up a twenty year career in Major League Baseball for the New York Yankees.  He was one of the greatest players of his generation winning five World Series championships and the admiration of millions. While maintaining a very high profile career, he successfully avoided major controversy or scandal and instead was known for his consummate professionalism and strong work ethic.  

Worst: Real estate mogul and former Los Angeles Clippers owner, Donald Sterling, for his thoughtless, racist remarks which were taped and subsequently released to the public resulting in the forced sale of his NBA team, a hefty fine of $2.5 million dollars and a banishment from the NBA for life.  Top of our list also goes to the embattled, National Football League, who is in desperate need of an image boost after suffering a plethora of domestic violence incidents among its players and for mismanagement of its leadership at the top. 

In Fashion

Best: Oscar de la Renta who embodied elegance in every sense of the word endearing himself to throngs of fans spanning the globe from first ladies and celebrities to socialites and fashionistas. He was the quintessential gentleman, both dapper and debonair who created a fashion empire that exemplified his zest for life as well as his eye for quality and impeccable taste.  Flawlessly dressed for any occasion, his sophistication and style went unrivaled.  

Worst: Founder and former CEO of the popular T-shirt company, American Apparel, Dov Charney was fired by his board of directors for ongoing allegations relating to sexual harassment and misuse of company funds.  

In Music

Best: Pharrell Williams’ song "Happy" was voted Billboard Magazine's #1 single for 2014 for its uplifting missive. He’s a permanent entry on the “Best Dressed” lists, a perpetually nice guy and provider building a $35 million after school center for his hometown of Virginia Beach. The singer, Meghan Trianor, tops our list with “All About that Bass,” an anthem song for the thongs of women who struggle with body issues. While it has become a huge dance hit, it is the song’s positive message encouraging girls to love their bodies regardless of their shape that is resonating across the country. 

Worst: Nicki Minaj wasn’t the only one contributing to 2014’s unofficial proclamation as the ‘Year of the Rear,’ but she was the worst offender with her racy video for the song “Anaconda” which featured a chorus of women shaking their behinds in the jungle sending the wrong message to young women about the power of their sexuality.

And there you have it, another year passes with a sprinkling of good, the ridiculously bad, and the downright ugly.  Let's hope this next twelve months shows increasing signs of hope for a brighter future for our nation, one where we tip the scales of good and say so long to the bad and the ugly.

Manners Monday – Joan Rivers – Brassy Girl from Brooklyn Was Pure Class

A view from outside her condo on East 62^nd Street just a few steps from 5^th Avenue

We lost a legend last Thursday, comedienne Joan Rivers. That brassy girl from Brooklyn was pure class. A national treasure, a legendary pioneer, she worked tirelessly for over fifty years bringing audiences to their knees with her acerbic and self-deprecating wit.  As one of America’s first female comics, she was a trail blazer paving the way for countless female comics who would come after her from Rosie O’Donnell and Rosanne Barr to Kathy Griffin and Sarah Silverman.  Her jokes could come across as scathing, but they were never meant to be hurtful.  She was the creator of red carpet commentary, launching a whole new genre of entertainment television for awards shows to come. She was a survivor who used humor to get through life’s most difficult moments whether struggling to recover from her husband’s suicide or rebuilding her career after her cancelled talk show. She had grit and she bounced back with a zest and passion for life that was incomparable.

After undergoing routine out-patient surgery on her throat, she stopped breathing, suffered cardiac arrest and was put on life support.  The 81 year old soaked up every second of her fabulous life planning each momentous step of the way.  She even orchestrated her own funeral giving explicit direction, “I want my funeral to be a big showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action.”  And that it was, with luminaries from every industry turning up at Temple Emanu-El on the Upper East Side of Manhattan to pay their respects. And, the New York Police Department’s Emerald Society playing “New York, New York” an homage to the town she loved and called home.

But what will we remember most about Joan Rivers?

Her Presentation and Style. Dressed to the nines with her signature blonde perfectly coiffed hair, she would take to the stage or set in a ladylike outfit and then catch us off guard with her irreverent routine. She was a serial abuser of cosmetic surgery seeking perfection with every nip, tuck and pull perhaps attempting to erase the years that did not seem to match her energy. While she espoused all things style and fashion forward on the red carpet, she was a traditionalist who embodied elegance and grace. It was mentioned that even in her final hours, she had a fresh manicure and pedicure as well as her hair done. She did not want to leave this life unkempt. One would imagine she had on all her jewelry and beautiful silk sleepwear to boot. 

Her Love of Family. Her daughter Melissa and her grandson Cooper were her greatest joy.  Not a day went by without a phone call to Melissa each morning which would set the tone for her entire day. She loved them dearly and they were by her side as much as possible. Working together on E!’s “Fashion Police” for 20 years and then starring in their own reality show, “Joan & Melissa - Joan Knows Best?” solidified an already tight-as-steel bond.

Her Dedication to Perfection.  She did everything first class. An admitted type-A personality, she preferred to take the helm and do it her way rather than leave anything to chance. Whether it was planning her Melissa’s fairy tale wedding at the Plaza or residing as President of her condo association, no detail went unnoticed and everything had to be done tastefully or not at all.  This was her joy, it made her happy. She had an appreciation for the finer things, but she was equally grateful and gracious.

Her Take No Prisoners Attitude.  She may have been blunt and unapologetic, but she was never mean-spirited. She could care less what other people thought of her. If an audience was shocked or offended by her words, she would simply respond and say, “Oh grow up!” She willingly made fun of everything from race and religion to sex and celebrities, her family life and heroes to politicians and religious figures. No one and no topic was taboo. But she kept her material relevant citing contemporary figures and earning herself the adulation of twenty somethings.

Her Red Carpet Commentary.  Whether covering a live award's show or on the set with fellow cohorts, no one called fashion like Joan Rivers. She coined the phrase, "Who are you wearing?" essentially cementing a relationship between fashion designers and celebrities for years to come. She inspired me to write a regular blog on Red Carpet Manners for what I like to call 'going underneath the sheath' espousing on all things manners related on the red carpet.   

Her Heart.  She had a kindness and charm that endeared her to everyone. Her goodness and heart propelled her to stand up for what she believed in whether it was breaking the glass ceiling for female comediennes, fighting bigotry towards the gay community, or defending Israel.  She gave back raising millions of dollars for causes including AIDS, Guide Dogs for the Blind and Cystic Fibrosis. 

Her Work Ethic.  In her documentary, “Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work," she revealed that she wasn’t happy unless her calendar was filled to the brim with appointments. She loved being busy, it made her feel alive. She traveled determinedly back and forth from coast to coast appearing both live and on television up until her last day. She kept a catalog of all her jokes neatly typed and alphabetized by topic in filing cabinets in her New York apartment constantly updating, memorizing and rehearsing her famous one-liners.  

Her Resilience. This tough woman born of Russian immigrants made something of herself.  She graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Barnard College with a degree in English. She broke through the male-dominated world of comedy to become an international star. She survived the tragic suicide of her husband, Edgar Rosenberg, and rebuilt her relationship with her daughter. She overcame her own show’s cancellation and became a massively successful author, producer and entrepreneur writing 11 books, selling jewelry and fashion on home shopping networks and heralding at the helm of the “Fashion Police” virtually launching the entire red carpet industry. Her humor was her savior; it got her through the most horrific of circumstances. She knew the power of bouncing back with laughter and harnessed it to conquer every adversity.

Can we talk?  On a personal note, Joan Rivers reminded me of my grandmother, Rose Gaché, who lived in a gorgeous apartment in the Hampshire House facing Central Park South. I remember the silk fabric walls, the mirrored dressing area, and the chocolate pudding served in crystal goblets. She died young when I was still in high school, but instilled in me an appreciation for quality and the finer things whether it was taking pride in the way I dress or setting a beautiful table. She was generous and gracious.  Similar to Joan Rivers, she had tremendous drive, determination, focus, intellect, sharpness, and enthusiasm. Both are sorely missed.  Rest in peace...