Wednesday Wisdom - Rescheduling Puts People in a Particular Pecking Order

Rescheduling of any kind puts people in a particular pecking order. Whether we’re postponing a meeting with a prospective client or rearranging a rendezvous with an old friend, our priorities are made clear by whom we choose to keep appointments and whom we believe it’s okay to defer for another time.  When it comes to rescheduling a work meeting or a plan with a friend, better think twice before you accidentally offend. The gravity of the excuse can make all the difference. In certain circumstances, you may choose to share a white lie to spare someone’s feelings and other times we have a genuinely legitimate reason for canceling such as an illness or accident. 

How you communicate your message also matters. What delivery method you use – will it be a text, a call or an email – demonstrates the level of respect in the relationship.  For social engagements, I always advise my clients to pick up the phone. A pleasant tone of voice is vital to letting someone down easy.  When it comes to rescheduling a business meeting, an email should suffice.  One of the unwritten rules in Hollywood, however, and really with anyone is ‘3 strikes, you’re out!’ The 3^rd time is NOT a charm when it comes to rescheduling.  If you are canceled on three times, call it quits. No point in pursuing that person, they’re deemed totally rude and you move on.  I learned the hard way this rule also applies to doctors.  I had been putting off a colonoscopy and rescheduled my consultation with the office three times.  The day before my third appointment when I was finally committed to going, the doctor’s assistant called and canceled. Apparently, doctors don’t like getting snubbed either!

Most beauty services from hair and massage appointments to facials and bikini waxes require 24 hours advice notice to reschedule without being charged. If you neglect this rule, you must be prepared to make payment.  I never reschedule my hairdresser, but she reschedules me all the time to take care of her many A-list clients.  I am always devastated but completely at her mercy as no one else can handle my tresses with such expertise. Does it pain me to have to handle the reschedule gracefully?  You betcha, but I have to act graciously, especially if I wish to continue having her do my hair. 

Rarely is a reschedule completely benign, but it is possible if both parties are happily amenable to the idea.  There are those occasions where you made a plan or a set a meeting and you’re really not in the mood or ill-prepared, but you don’t want to be the one to initiate the change.  If the universe is working in your favor that day, one person will reschedule and the other one breathes a sigh of relief and all is right with the world.

Manners Monday - Meghan & Harry’s Royal Wedding – A Modern Fairy Tale with Manners Firmly Placed at the Helm

Mother's Day 2018 - Me & My Shadows

I spent the day before Mother's Day visiting with a high school friend sipping on champagne and reflecting on motherhood in scenic Los Olivos.  We sat curled up on the burnt orange cushions of the outdoor furniture with the sun beaming down and nary a care in the world, Her kids with the babysitter and my girls' miles away at home in Los Angeles with dad.  

There was no one to ask me to make them lunch or do their hair or put money on their credit card or drive them to the beach or take them emergency shopping at Sephora for a friend's last minute birthday gift. I was spending 24 blissful hours taking a break from being a mom.  We enjoyed a full day of strolling through the town, wine tasting, vintage shopping, and eating till our hearts were content. 

After swapping stories about our work, my husband, her online dating after divorce, and our parents the conversation came full circle to where it always winds up - with our kids!  She has 7-year-old twins and my girls are fully developed, teenagers. Despite the fact that we are both driven entrepreneurs who spend almost every waking hour thinking about our work, we were both over-the-moon grateful for the best gifts we could have ever received - the blessing of children.  

As I lay my head on the silk pillow I brought from home and tucked into the trundle bed of my friend's daughter last night, I smiled a deep sigh of satisfaction.  Like a Cheshire Cat with a mischievous grin, I felt like I won the lottery having been blessed with two amazing daughters who are beautiful both inside and out and who make me proud on an (almost) daily basis.  Sharing in the minutia of their lives and having them come to me with their most intimate of problems makes me feel needed and that they can trust me to help them navigate through the rollercoaster of life.

Watching them shine with such grace, warmth, and humility is like a dream come true.  They are far from perfect, but they are intrinsically good people.  I love them more than life itself and I am filled with gratitude on this day celebrating mothers that in some small way I am on the right track and doing a decent job.